In need of Resume input

I always hear, "The HR manager will take all of 10 seconds, if that long, to look at a resume. "

Well, all the people reviewing my resume are not the people that do it for a living.

 

I am going to be a little bold right here and just post what I have.  Any and all feedback is good.  Keep in mind that in my case, advising me to spend money to make the resume better is not a luxury I can afford at this time.
 

Also, this is not a tailored resume to any specific job function.  Shooting for an overall 'competent manager' assessment. 

 

(I apologize for the format - copy/paste from word)

v\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}
o\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}
w\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}
.shape {behavior:url(#default#VML);}

Normal
0
false

false
false
false

EN-US
X-NONE
X-NONE

/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";}

 

 

SUMMARY

 

·         Ability to organize work flow and prioritize projects with minimal supervision

·         Strong problem resolution skills as well as a desire to brainstorm for creative solutions when an easy solution does not exist

·         Ability to organize and manage multiple projects in varying stages of completion

·         Proven track record of creating new procedures to increase efficiency

·         Experienced at creating training manuals and process documentations

·         Experienced at training others and leading a team project

 

 

EDUCATION

 

Oklahoma State University                                          

Bachelors of Science in Business Administration                                                            Tulsa, OK

Double Major: Management, General Business                                                   December 2011

Double Minor: International Business, Human Resource Management

 

Tulsa Community College                                           

Associates of Applied Science                                                                       Tulsa, OK

General Business                                                                                              July 2003

 

EMPLOYMENT HISTORY

 

Regional Manager                                                                                Blaine, MN

Mountaintop Advisors LTD                                                                                  2008 – 2010

 

·         Co-owned and managed four retail stores in the Minneapolis area

·         Created new employee hire questionnaire

·         Actively held store and manager meetings to go over sales training and upcoming events

·         Negotiated various store leases and manufacture pricing and terms

·         Created consignment contracts to increase company profits

·         Oversaw all legal concerns with the assistance of attorneys

·         Reconciled monthly bank accounts of $1 million yearly gross sales.

·         Consistently ran one and two year budget and sales projections

 

 

Department Manager                                                                                        Tulsa, OK

TCIM                                                                                                                2008 – 2008

 

·         Responsible for setting up and administrating a brand new department for order processing, adhering to the existing AT&T standards 

·         Designed and implemented procedural policies, conducted weekly employee reviews, formed employee incentive programs, and maintained department attendance by 90%

·         Directly managed 12-23 people in the department

·         Reduced the acceptable error ratio from 11% to below 4% on a consistent weekly basis

·         Consistently exceeded client’s goals and expectations by initiating innovative programs

·         Calculated daily billable and internal (overtime) hours

·         Created job description and duties to be published in local paper

·         Screened potential new hires through interviews and skill test.

 

 

           

 

EMPLOYMENT HISTORY

 

 

Quality Assurance                                                                                                        Tulsa, OK

TCIM                                                                                                                2006 – 2008

 

·         Developed processes and procedures, internal tracking spreadsheets for verification purposes, and historical charts

·         Worked directly with the sales reps

·         Assisted in coaching on the various products and sales techniques

·         Reviewed sales contracts and performed sales reconciliations

·         Followed up with various agents and sales managers to ensure customer satisfaction

·         Worked with 3rd party clients on a weekly basis for training and to verify status on pending sales orders

·         Maintained 95% fulfillment accuracy on all sales orders

·         Provided sales and ordering support for 16 account managers

 

 

Office Manager                                                                                     Honolulu, HI

Modern Continental Construction Co.                                                                   2000 – 2001

 

·         Performed daily accounts payable tasks and weekly payroll tracking

·         Assisted in bidding process on future multi-million dollar construction projects

·         Handled revolving $500,000+ account for Accounts Payable

·         Reconciled monthly petty cash bank accounts

 

 

Office Manager                                                                                     Elk River, MN

Transitional Dynamics Inc                                                                                  1998 – 2000

 

·         Co-owned and operated a retail board game shop located in the Minneapolis area

·         Negotiated store lease and other various management duties

·         Placed stocking and special orders with over 200 vendors and manufactures

·         Managed a staff of three sales associates

·         Wrote and voiced radio advertising for in-store promotions

Your Resume Stinks

OK, now don't be offended ;-)

This is the title of one of the very early free podcasts that Manager Tools did. Hear it at: 

http://www.manager-tools.com/2005/10/your-resume-stinks

This will pre-empt most of the feedback you'll get on your resume here in the forums. When you've done that, come back and ask some more questions or perhaps look at the resume review service that Wendii does for Manager-Tools: 

http://www.manager-tools.com/resume-review

There are other casts on resume writing that you'll find by searching this website. Hope that gets you on your way and really, please come back for more questions!

Good luck.

-- Peter

DISC®: 2564
@pjwestley

......?

Ok, so what's wrong with it.  (Eager to know)

 

Other than being 2 pages and not 1.

Did you listen to the casts

Did you listen to the casts yet?

Sample Resume

MTCT also has posted a sample resume here:

http://www.manager-tools.com/downloadable-forms

....

I actually tried that version of a resume, but i received overwhelming positive response of this 'easier-to-read' version than the other.

So - spending $400 to for a review is out.
I heard the casts.

I looked at the sample.

 

So, anyone kind enough to help 'fix' mine to make it more attractive for the guy that spends all of 5-10 seconds to look at it?

(is there a way to attack a .doc?)

 

Thanks in advance.   :-)

Did you have a specific question?

I think it's asking a bit much to expect a full-service resume review here.  There's a reason people pay money for that.  There are several resources here, and I'm sure most of the users here are happy to point you toward them (as they have).  In addition to the resources given, there are actually several podcasts:

http://www.manager-tools.com/2008/04/resume-update-2008

http://www.manager-tools.com/2009/06/2009-downturn-annual-resume-update

http://www.manager-tools.com/2010/08/resume-update-2010-part-1

http://www.manager-tools.com/2010/08/resume-update-2010-part-2

http://www.manager-tools.com/2011/08/resume-update-2011-part-1

http://www.manager-tools.com/2011/08/resume-update-2011-part-2

You can easily search the site for other resume resources, but as Peter points out in the first response, the initial cast pretty much gives you a lot of advice you should listen to.  If you don't want to shell out $400, you can pay $30 for the Resume Workbook.  Believe me, it's well worth the cost.  And it walks you through the resume preparation in great detail.

http://www.manager-tools.com/resume-workbook

After that, it's up to you to create (or "fix") your resume -- or to ignore all of this advice altogether.  But you'll overwhelmingly receive advice here that is in line with the workbook & podcasts.  If you don't want to knock it down to 1 page, lose the Summary section, or separate the responsibilities and accomplishments for each job, then I'm not sure what you want us to say.  We largely agree with the MT guidance and those things are low-hanging fruit if you've listened to even the first cast.

After you've absorbed that readily available information, you may have more specific questions and by all means please return to the forums to either search for topics already covered, or post new questions as you see fit.  The information you receive here is among the best you can find on any web forum.  But again, if you don't like the MT guidance don't be surprised if you struggle to find a sympathetic voice.

Finally, I wouldn't get too hung up on the concept of 5-10 seconds.  That's not really accurate -- it's probably more like 30-45 seconds during the first review, and probably much more if you are a good match.  If you focus too much on this myth you'll over-rotate your approach too much toward making your resume "attractive" instead of giving it some substance.  You really do need to have some substance in there.  Make it easy to find the substance.

Some resume input

You asked what is wrong with it and I'll tell you.  It didn't work.  If it worked there would be nothing wrong with it.  Why didn't it work?  *Shrug* only the person that was looking to hire can tell you that.  You were not effective at communicating to person reading it that they should talk to you.  What can I do to make you a more effective communicator (via paper resume)?  *Shrug* you have made it clear to me that you can communicate quite clearly; i can see it in the resume and the resulting conversation here.

So, I'm out of ideas.

RC

 

So you listened to the

So you listened to the casts, looked at the examples, and don't know what could be fixed with yours.... Here we go. Tough love time.

Resumes need to tell the reader what you did and how well you did it. Ideally, somewhere in there is some detail  about how your work benefitted the company and how you did achieved this accomplishment ("Reduced costs by X amount by doing Y"). You want the recruiter to be able to picture you doing the work and doing it well after reading the resume.

You have a summary that says nothing. It repeats things listed in your decriptions and it offers the platitudes about you that every single resume has. You have "a desire to brainstorm." That's great. I have a desire to fly an airplane and win a bike race. That does not mean that I have done either one in the past or the ability to do so in the future.

You put education before work history, which makes it looks like you just graduated and want your education to be more important than your work history.

There are only a few accomplishments,mixed in with the bulleted descriptions and not very well described. Your resume reads like a string of job descriptions that could be the same whether you exceled in the role or got fired for poor performance.

Your dates of employment are all year-only, which makes people wonder if you were employed only from the last day of one to the first day of the next (hiding an employment gap).

The job description bullets alternate between starting with adjectives and starting with verbs. It makes it harder to understand and lmakes it ookse like you are not organized in your writing on a topic.

You use meaningless words like "oversaw" or "worked with" or "assisted". All of those sound like "sat in the back of the room while someone else did the work." None of them say how you oversaw them (did you just watch them work or did you actually do something". You throw in adjectives where they are redundent. You "directly managed" people... as opposed to indirectly? You bid on "future" projects. Was someone else bidding on past projects?

You had an 95% accuracy of fulfillment.You messed up 1 order in 20. Is that supposed to be an accomplishment? If that's good for your industry, that would be important to know. To an outsider, it sounds awful. If 1 in 20 of Toyota's cars delivered to a dealer was the wrong model, they'd be out of business.

 

You managed 12 to 23 people. That's a big range. Which was it? Did you manage 13? or 22? Or was the team size varying.

You reduced the acceptable error rate from 11% to 4% on a weekly basis. That sounds like you changed the policy so that 11% was not acceptable and now 4% was acceptable. And you did that every week.

You ininitiated innovative programs. Ignoring the tongue twister there... like what? What did you do that "exceeded your clients goals and expectations"? (which is an odd placemenf for the word "goals".

You maintained 90% attendence. Does that mean you showed up 90% of the time? Or that the people who worked for you did? Either way, they took off a day every other week. That's how it reads.

You screened new hires. And then what? Did they work out? Or did they have a 90% attendence rate?

Nothing in there says "I'm better than everyone else applying and you should interview me so I can prove it!!!". The readability and formatting are not your biggest problems. It's the content.

I think he did just graduate from school!

First Last
234 Main St. / Anywhere, CA / 12345 / (123) 456-6789 / first.last@yahoo.com

2010 – 2011, Business Administration Student, Oklahoma State University
Double Major: Management, General Business and Double Minor: International Business, Human Resource Management.
-Verb, result, method

2008 - 2010 Regional Manager, Mountaintop Advisors LTD
Co-owned and managed four retail stores in the Minneapolis area. Created new employee hire questionnaire. Held store and manager meetings to go over sales training and upcoming events. Negotiated various store leases and manufacture pricing and terms. Oversaw all legal concerns with the assistance of attorneys. Reconciled monthly bank accounts of $1 million yearly gross sales. Ran one and two year budget and sales projections.
-Increased profits _% by creating consignment contracts.

2008 - 2008 Department Manager, TCIM
Administrated new 12-23 person department for order processing, adhering to the existing AT&T standards. Implemented procedural policies, conducted weekly employee reviews and employee incentive program. Calculated daily billable and internal (overtime) hours. Wrote job descriptions, interviewed and hired new employees.
-Retained 90% of employees with incentive program.

2006 - 2008, Quality Assurance, TCIM
Provided sales and ordering support for 16 account managers. Reviewed sales contracts and performed sales reconciliations. Followed up with various agents and sales managers to ensure customer satisfaction. Developed processes and procedures, internal tracking for verification purposes, and historical reports. Assisted in coaching on the various products and sales techniques. Worked with 3rd party clients on a weekly basis for training and to verify status on pending sales orders.
-Maintained 95% fulfillment accuracy on all sales orders by following up frequently.

2001-2003, General Business Student Tulsa, Community College
-Verb, result, method

2000 - 2001, Office Manager, Modern Continental Construction Co.
Performed daily accounts payable tasks and weekly payroll tracking. Assisted in bidding process on future multi-million dollar construction projects. Handled revolving $500,000+ account for Accounts Payable. Reconciled monthly petty cash bank accounts.
-Verb, result, method

1998 - 2000, Office Manager, Transitional Dynamics Inc
Co-owned and operated a retail board game shop located in the Minneapolis area. Negotiated store lease and managed three sales associates. Placed stocking and special orders with over 200 vendors and manufactures. Wrote and voiced radio advertising for in-store promotions.
-Verb, result, method

B.S. Business Administration, Oklahoma State University, 2011
A.S Tulsa Community College, General Business, 2003

Style never wins!

Resumes should be dry, boring and repetitive. MT/CT resume format is the most boring repetitive format out there. There is no style to it at all! We are proud of that! Content always wins.

Anybody can style their resume and most resumes end up in the trash. You have to think critically to write a resume that is packed with examples of why you should be hired. If you don’t know what to say on resume, you won’t know what to say in an interview.

If you sucked at job which it looks like you did, find one thing you did good there. I was fired two years into my first job out of college because I messed up all the time. I made one client really happy though that is my only accomplishment for that job. You can call my boss who could not stand working with me and she’ll say I did a great job with the Vermont Dept. of Health May 2010: Hunger and Malnutrition workshop. I have the thank you letters to prove it! I am honest and realistic about what I have done.

On your resume you need to sit down and think about what accomplishments you can prove from each position and school experience.

Jake

Awesome

Love the 'tough-love" TomW and jzklein!

That's is exactly what I needed!

I'll make the changes to paint the better picture.  And the months were indeed left out to hide time gaps, but if omitting months is a bigger red flag than time gaps, then the months go in.
 

"You use meaningless words like "oversaw" or "worked with" or "assisted". All of those sound like "sat in the back of the room while someone else did the work." None of them say how you oversaw them (did you just watch them work or did you actually do something". You throw in adjectives where they are redundent. You "directly managed" people... as opposed to indirectly? You bid on "future" projects. Was someone else bidding on past projects?"

That is great too - my descriptive thesaurus skills are a bit lacking, but I will find a way to improve on those things.
 

"Nothing in there says "I'm better than everyone else applying and you should interview me so I can prove it!!!". The readability and formatting are not your biggest problems. It's the content."

Much appreciation for the feedback!

I know I have the 'skill set', it's just a matter of conveying it effectively on paper before in person is where I am having difficulty.

Thank you again for everyone's input.  I will be making the noting changes and trying my luck again.

Ken