Is it ever appropriate to bypass the inital affirming-feedback-only phase when starting to implement the feedback model?
I'm new to MT and just beginning to use the feedback model (2-3 days, affirming feedback only so far, and I haven't hit everyone yet).
I was invited to a meeting to clarify the strategy my team is pursuing to my peer organizations. To keep the meeting at a strategic level, I specifically wanted my technical lead to attend (as he's the one that will translate the strategy into tactics). I specifically did NOT invite one of my lead's high-C DRs, who would have dragged the meeting down into the tactical weeds and diverted the focus away from the strategic discussions.
Due to either failure on my part to explain that I was intentionally excluding the DR and why, or my lead's failure to catch the statement that this was a management-only meeting (most likely the former), my lead told his DR about the existance of the meeting.
I then received a phone call from the DR, who was hurt that he was not invited. When I explained that only the lead was invited due to the strategic nature of the agenda, the DR responded with a blast at his lead, stating that the lead is essentially disconnected from his team, and that "I do all of the team's real work anyway, so I should represent the team." This guy really wants a promotion and is very aggressive about getting there.
I found this EXTREMELY unprofessional, and could barely get off the phone without making unwise remarks in return. After the emotional component wore off, I'm left with a conviction that this behavior is ineffective and must be dealt with immediately.
Now the question: I've not fully rolled out the model to my team, and I've not given this individual [u]any[/u] feedback yet. Would it be more effective to skip the affirming-only phase and give him the adjusting feedback now while the behavior is still fresh in his mind, or should I wait until the team is comfortable with receiving feedback and then go back and address this behavior?
[SIDE NOTE: I've noticed an unanticipated benefit of the model already: I feel better about myself now that I'm verbalizing the good job my team is doing as feedback and know that they are explicitly receiving the recognition they deserve. It's motivating me to continue using the model. Thanks, guys!]