Today I was listening again to the "feedback model" podcast, and got something that I seem to have missed previously: how you can use the feedback model during a negotiation (it went something like your counterpart stood and pointed at you and you calmly said "when you point at me and yell, here's what happens: I get deffensive, etc.").
So far so good, very simple.
A situation I often experience, however, is similar but a bit special: There's one girl who's part of the XYZ group and, [b]among other people from other areas[/b], we are part of a meeting in which we negotiate XYZ standards for the plant. During those meetings, she will often display a very aggressive behavior (pointing at, yelling at, or being disrespectful at other people).
I have given her feedback (both before and after I studied MT's model) about it, but she's changed almost nothing.
My question is: is it OK to give her feedback in front of the rest of the group, just in the way it was described in the podcast?? or it only applies to one-to-one situations? What can I do, if her boss considers it is"a trait of her personality" and something that's probably "not that bad"? (yeah, I've been a couple of times to him.) I think she is a very high D, and really don't want her to get defensive and me (another D) being seen as the ruthless guy who put her in a pit in front of all the rest (knowing her, I think she will be able to manipulate the information as to imply that (you know, comments like "why didn't he tell it [i]to me[/i]? Why in front of all the rest?".)
It is said in the army that when you err in public you should be reprimanded in public, but I'm not totally convinced of the convenience of that in standard corporate situations.
I'd love to hear your opinions!