Submitted by steven_martin on
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I was supposed to have a year-end recap meeting with my boss as part of our employee development program. It was originally scheduled for Wednesday and my boss cancelled it at the last minute and tried to reschedule it closer to the end of the year. I explained that I was going to be off at that time but suggested that we meet late Friday afternoon after our management team meeting. This was the last opportunity to do it as I was going to be off for the remainder of the year. She agreed to this.
After our off-site meeting on Friday, nothing was said about meeting after once we wrapped up for the day. I assumed that we would still be meeting so I headed back to the office to prepare for my holidays and and meet with my boss.
She never showed up or called to cancell the meetng. I was livid, but I waited until 5:00 before going home, I intended on sneaking out a little early. I had left my car at the hotel where we had our offsite and noticed her car was still there when I went and picked it up. I since found out that she joined some of our managers at the pub for a couple of drinks.
Part of my anger to this was that I had spent most of the Thursday evening working on a problem for one of the other managers in my group so they could meet one of there deadlines. Nothing was said about this, eventhough I had to work to 1:30. The other manager got a good job when me met his deadline.
My question is, do I mention this broken engagement and lack of acknowledgement to my boss and let her know how upset I was with this? We don't have a great relationship, but I believe in being open and honest.
I will have the opportunity to address this behavior on a employee opinion survey and 360 feedback. But these are generic surveys that don't look for specific examples of issues. I think in this case being specific about the issue would go further. But then again it just might get me labeled as a complianer.
Do I Take the High-Road?
I think something Mark often says applies here: "Tell your boss the truth and the truth shall set you free."
Do you want to be free?
Practically, what can you gain? If you already don't have a good relationship then bringing this topic up is not likely to improve it.
You don't know that she chose to blow off your meeting to have drinks. Maybe she was strong-armed by her boss. Maybe there was an important topic being discussed that she felt needed to be attended. Maybe she simply forgot.
Me, I'd write a nice hand-written letter (safest this way) to my boss. I'd write it at home. When I was done with it I'd have a little fire ceremony and destroy it. :) Okay, I personally probably wouldn't need to write the letter to find a way to let it go, but that's my advice. Do whatever it takes for yourself to let it go.
If in the long run you can't, and you believe strongly enough, then you'll need to make sure your resume's current and put yourself on the market. But even then, there's no mileage in bringing this topic up to your boss. Take the high road.
Do I Take the High-Road?
As Mark would say, how you feel is your fault. You've been poked with an umbrella, and how you feel about it is up to you.
Did you ask your manager after the meeting on Friday to join you for a review? She may have assumed (wrongly) that if you didn't reach out to her, you were OK with delay. You assumed (wrongly) that she was heading back to the office. I wouldn't bring it up again.
Next time, talk to her after the management meeting and confirm. Don't assume, especially on a Friday afternoon before a holiday.
As for credit, the other manager should have spoken up. Consider peer feedback ("when you don't share credit for work we do together, here's what happens: ..."). There's a podcast on this.
One last thought: Year end reviews (is that what the "recap" is?) are best done when both parties are ready and in the right mindset. Would the Friday afternoon meeting, when your boss would have been foregoing a networking opportunity, have been ideal? Maybe it will be a better meeting after the New Year.
John
Do I Take the High-Road?
No.
Mark