It may be me.....
but in the last few weeks on the forums there's been a number of questions about how do I deal with this person, who is in my team, not in my team, doesn't actually work for my company, who is obnoxious, not pulling their weight, not working as I want them to.
The crux of the question seems to be.. how do I get them to do want I want them to do when I don't have any power over them?
Peeps... it doesn't matter! You will never have power over everyone. And even if you did ... using your power to get what you want is exhausting and counter productive. You will never work for a company where everyone is perfect.
Build the relationship. Yes, even with people who are completely unlike you, obnoxious, lazy people. Work on getting them to like you, to want to work with you, show them what you need and why, show them why they should care, remember their children's names. Think about their communication style and why they might react the way they do to the things you say - and then change the way you communicate. Make it easy for them to be co-operative and give you what you need.
There is only one person you can change. You. Stop wasting your energy trying to change everyone else.