Submitted by terrih on
I think I'm really just looking for some moral support...
The first time I tried to start using the feedback model, it lasted a month or three and then I gave up in shame and loathing.
Now having listened to the Rolling Out the Trinity casts, I realize what made it too hard for me back then. (Won't bore you with the sordid details unless you beg me. <g>) And yes, the rollout casts were months ago and I've procrastinated til now.
I'm going to show the MT Feedback slides to my directs tomorrow in our staff meeting. I am very nervous about trying again. All of these directs were here for my first attempt. So of course I'm rather embarrassed. It's like a speed bump just where the Horstman Curve gets steep.
I'm hoping that showing them the slides and explaining the whole concept will help break the ice and they will be understanding of what I'm trying to do. I think they will. Plus a bit of confession: "I tried this before and gave up on it... which wasn't fair to you because you need feedback on how you're doing. I've received some further guidance and I'm going to strive to do better." Something like that.
If anyone has any anecdotes about how something similar went for them, I'd be interested.
...and I'm saying you're doing the right thing. I think people want to know about my West Point experience, or my Procter successes...but whenever they find out that I got FIRED and am willing to talk about it, admit my humanity...that's all they wanna talk about.
Admit it. "I messed this up. I tried something new, told you I was committed to it, and then failed to BE committed to it. I reinforced the whole 'flavor of the month' concept. It was my fault."
Only the cruel and unprofessional would carp then.
If I remember..
I believe you've had some pretty tough times in the past year, if I'm remembering that right.
I bet your directs will value your willingness to try it again, and will understand and respect you for it. I certainly do!
Someone was telling me recently that "management was hard."
Who was that again.....?
Some Talking Head
Good one Bug Girl!
I did roughly the same thing with a new department and 03s just recently. I started out meeting with them regularly, but never created set, recurring meeting times. The job was more overwhelming than imagined, the 03s were intially received poorly....and a host of other useless excuses that led to me messing up. In our staff meeting I apologized and told the team that although I had made a mistake, meeting with them is extremely important to me, so we are going to restart them immediately, beginning with their choosiing a recurring block of time. To my suprise, the 03 concept has been received much more openly this time and we are in to our third successful week.
I was embarassed too, but couldn't be more glad that I swallowed my pride. Best of luck!
Moral Support Granted
I can guarantee you that you're not alone in this struggle. I'm really glad to hear you're picking it up again.
I'd love to read your success stories (and even the hiccups) of your re-release of feedback to your staff. I'm sure many here would find it encouraging.
Right there with you . . .
I too have tried and failed before. I know I need to pick up the ball and start running with it again and your message will help nudge me forward.
Thanks for the smiles!
Good moral support everyone. I just watched the "Management is Hard" video last night myself...
What happened the first time I tried to roll out feedback was:
a) I didn't explain it, just started doing it. So nobody knew they could actually say "no," etc.
b) I had a "problem" direct at the time. So I was trying to give everyone only affirming feedback... and I had to really rack my brain to come up with affirming feedback for the problem DR. Meanwhile all I really wanted to say to her was "get off the #&%$ phone!! you can talk to your husband at home!!" I wish I had known I could start with only the top performer(s).
c) Making the perfect the enemy of the good. This isn't fixed by the rollout guidance, of course... except that I can explain it up front in the meeting today.
[Mark nailed it when he visited the Chicago Meet-Up... in a discussion about feedback, someone was telling me not to worry about hurting feelings, and Mark said, "She's not worried about hurting feelings, she's worried about doing it wrong!" Mark, I know you'll say it's just lots of practice with DiSC... but you're a sorceror. <g>]
d) Actually, BugGirl, I bailed out on feedback before the tough times of the past year... but I think it was the tough times with the aforementioned problem DR that sapped all my managerial energy. The problems got worse and worse and I guess I retreated into my shell, and haven't really peeked out much even since she disappeared.
[yeah, disappeared... took 2 weeks off and didn't come back afterward. The only hint I ever got of what might have happened was an employment confirmation call from an apartment rental broker in Florida.]
Oh well, enough excuses, must go prepare for the staff meeting. :)
Sorry you went through a rough one. Good for you for sucking it up and giving it another shot.
What really jumped out of me in your post is that no matter how focused we are on a cast or the shownotes, there is always something we might miss. It was your point about only starting with the top performers. I don't recall that at all but gosh, seems like I also missed something pretty important. Thanks for the reminder that we all need to keep reviewing and practicing our techniques before we put them into play. And to keep it up even after we put them into play.
Rolling Out The Trinity
Our recommendation to start with Top Performers was in the Rolling Out the Trinity casts, which came out in August of last year.
And I remember Terri's problem direct!
Terri, what's cooler than progress?
Hey, you are from the swarthy Midwest, just a few minutes from me up here behind the "cheddar curtain" in Beloit. Congratulations on moving forward. Isn't that what we expect from everybody else? What a great opportunity to show your staff how it is done.
You remember, eh? I've been trying to forget... ;-)
She's been gone almost a year already.