Submitted by Desiretosucceed on
in
Forums
How would you handle an employee rolling their eyes at you? I have managed 3 years now and twice I have had one employee roll his eyes at me when I ask him to do something.
I
Submitted by Desiretosucceed on
in
How would you handle an employee rolling their eyes at you? I have managed 3 years now and twice I have had one employee roll his eyes at me when I ask him to do something.
I
Feedback....
How about giving him some feedback?
Rolling Eyes
Feedback. When you do.... If they are doing this to you, they are doing to other people, maybe even your customers.
Wow!
Wow, really - two times in three years? That's amazing! I would have thought this was a constant thing rather than once every 18 months.
Before giving feedback, quite honestly, I would simply ASK the person ... "Why are you rolling your eyes?" Maybe they don't realize they're doing it. Maybe they're hearing their mother's voice in their head triggered by some random word you've uttered and they're really rolling their eyes at her rather than you. Feedback - yeah, I get it. But the rolling of one's eyes is such powerful non-verbal feedback right then and there so launching straight into the MT Feedback Model is likely to escalate in a "feedback war" of sorts (possibly with more eye rolling or cuticle picking or deep sighing.) If you have any interest at all in developing a rapport with this person, I recommend starting even more simply with "WHY are you rolling your eyes?" before saying "Well, when you roll your eyes ..." and giving the formal feedback.
*two cents*
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DiSC profile: 7-2-1-5
Immediate feedback (easier said than done...)
I noticed several types of sophomoric behavior in larger meetings that are similar to the rolling eyes including the "side chats with giggles" and the "knowing/expressive glance accross the meeting table".
When it becomes uncomfortable I've stopped and simply asked the person "What was so funny?" or "Let me in on the joke, it sounds like it was good!" or "something to add to the content?"
The hard part is to feedback with genuine amusement and a true desire to be "in on the joke."
I'd offer private post meeting feedback that was direct and to the point regarding the rudeness of the interruption and the proper/expected way to comment.
Rolling Eyes
I wanted to say, "Why are you rollig your eyes at me?" But I knew why, he did not like what I had to say. I did not give feed back or say anything because it makes me so angry. Never would I roll my eyes at a coworker, supervisor, customer, or the like.
This is just part of the daily dealings with this employee. It really makes for stressful interactions.
Still, I would ask
Even if you think you know, I would still ask the question (in a private setting, so that feedback can follow.) Even if you ask and your suspicisions are confirmed, I would still ask the question. Why? Because it gives you a moment to collect your thoughts AND it shows the other person (the rollee) that you aren't automatically jumping to conclusions, that you're seeking their input ... and possibly that you're going to call them on their antics & put them on the spot to defend or at least define their behavior. Even though it's much more expedient to snap at someone "Knock it off!" we know from MT that the feedback model is much more effective and professional. Likewise, I posit that taking the more deliberate, less expedient approach is much more effective and professional.
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DiSC profile: 7-2-1-5