Submitted by deca on
Just wanted to share some resources I've been really impressed with.
For a few months now, I've been an avid student of nonverbal clues -- interpreting others' and managing my own. Doing so has made tremendous impact in my business and personal life.
Here are a couple of examples of how I've applied this information:
Earlier this year I accepted a new job and, on my first day, the new boss took me around the office to meet each of my new teammates. I then sat on my desk for 1-2 hours setting up voice mail, filling out HR forms -- the usual 1st-day administrative stuff -- before heading off to a 1:1 meeting with the boss.
In that time frame (2-3 hours), I sensed some troubling dynamics within my department, how they were perceived by the rest of the company, how they felt about me coming on board, and the company culture in general. I questioned my boss (tactfully) about those perceptions and she answered, "Actually, the issues you've identified are the exact reasons why the last person left." It was clear to me the job was not as advertised and I started looking for a new one immediately.
Two months later, I was one of two candidates left for my current job. Again, I applied nonverbal skills to adapt my approach to the clues I picked up from interviewers, and influence how they perceived me. After the final panel interview, the HR person told me it had been a tie between the other candidate and me in terms of qualifications, but the way I presented myself won over the panel -- it was a unanimous decision.
If that's a topic you'd like to explore, here's what I've been reading:
- "What Every Body Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People" by Joe Navarro
- "Louder Than Words," also by Joe Navarro.
- Paul Ekman's work on microexpressions is also helpful, but I feel it is insufficient since it ignores the rest of the body. (The TV show "Lie to Me" is based on his research.)
- Psychology Today also has some helpful articles on the subject. Just search for "body language" or "nonverbal" -- something along those lines.
Anyway - I'm a big fan of this stuff and just thought I'd share with you.
Thanks for that Deca, though
Thanks for that Deca, though I feel DISC cover most of the non verbal stuff it would be interesting to read a bit more, so I have just added a couple of books to my Christmas wishlist ;)
Thanks for sharing. I
Thanks for sharing. I liked the specific examples.
Thanks, guys. By the way, I
By the way, I can't believe I forgot to mention this one:
Your Body at Work: A Guide to Sight-Reading the Body Language of Business, Bosses, and Boardrooms, by David Givens.
Even if you've mastered DISC, you'll learn some very helpful tips, like what you can learn about someone's mindset from their feet (a lot).
I recently attended a workshop which included a section on non-verbal communication which included some Eckman material. Thanks for the book suggestions. Timely too (smile).
Yes! An ability to read Non-verbal signals are why I have gotten a reputation for psychic-like intuition ;p
Do remember that they are quite culturally dependent--most books are written from an American viewpoint, and not all cultures react the same way.
That might be obvious to everyone else, but I remember it being an "Ah ha! and....D'oh!" moment for me.