BLUF: 4 months in, should I leave, or is it possible to hope?
Apologies if this is long -- I've never written on the forum before (I think), but a big MT fan.
Almost 5 months ago, I left a job that I was very successful at and felt valued at. I went from a community nonprofit --where I was successful and quickly promoted -- to working at a way larger higher ed office because I wanted to learn in a different environment.
My department is small, just 7 people, and we are in an offsite office with mostly just each other to interact with. In my first four months, my busy boss has given me virtually no feedback, minimal direction on projects, and no one-on-ones with anyone. We have group meetings weekly. I keep trying to keep pace and be resourceful and find the answers that he doesn't give me. I should also admit I'm scared of him. He seems very uninterested and unimpressed with me.
I knew I was learning so much and desperately wanted to be of service, but not sharp enough on some matters. I botched one project supremely. He gave me a project in the morning, gave me minimal directions that sounded like it would be very doable. And expected it done by end of day. I kept my morning meetings that day thinking this project was doable, so no worries -- long story short, I should have canceled the whole day and focused on this project. My very bad.
The next day after this disaster, he sat me down and gave me a write-up for poor performance. I've never gotten anything like this, but nodded and took responsibility for my performance. He said he wanted to do this months ago, but held off. I should say he had another staff person present as a witness. I was devastated, but willing to listen and learn. He said when he interviewed me I portrayed myself as someone who could do this work, and my poor performance reflected poorly on me. He said they had invested a lot in me and that this was disappointing. Ouch.
I gamely signed the document and resolved to do better. He didn't offer any improvement plan, just said it would be up to me how this goes, they want me to succeed but this is up to me. When I went to him a few days later to thank him for the conversation and to let him know I would work smarter and harder, he seemed irritated I was talking to him.
He is lovely with others in the office. I think he is really just not interested in me. Two weeks after this sit down, he basically ignores me in the office and our offices face each other. I can almost handle the disappointment, but the underlying anger feels difficult.
Is there a path forward for me, if so, I'm blind to it other than to do my work and do it 110%. But I'm afraid that I still have a learning curve, and he may not have patience for it. Should I be looking for other opportunities?