I'm a longtime listener of Manager and Career Tools, and just listened to this 'cast today. (Excellent one, by the way!) As a high D/I, I'm pretty good at maintaining healthy boundaries and using many of the expressions Wendii and Dani have suggested, but I've had a struggle with one coworker in particular and I'd like a bit of feedback on how to handle such a situation (although this particular point may be moot, since I've just been promoted to management level on another team - no direct reports).
Anyway, first I'll set some context: I work in marketing, and my company in particular is quite young; many folks are in their first job out of college and have some learning to do, which is just fine. However, the company has recently been downsized and as a result, the environment has become incredibly competitive. Everyone is looking for a way to move up in the ranks, and when you add to that a pervasive attitude of entitlement - as an example, one coworker announced loudly to us that she was asking for a 20% increase at review time, "because I know my self-worth" - and you have a hotbed of gossip and backstabbing behaviors which make the atmosphere tense and honestly, not much fun. I steer far clear of all of it as best I can.
However, we've got one teammate who takes misbehavior to an extreme: he openly sleeps at work. And I don't mean just one accidental nodding off - I'm talking about openly napping at his desk several times a day. Now, I've been told by a coworker that he's got a "condition" - so up until now I've mentally excused that behavior and if it were just that, I might not be so bothered. I've also had to draw clear boundaries with him regarding other behaviors - namely giving me too many compliments on my physical appearance (from, "you're a gorgeous woman" to "Wow, you look so hot today!") and attempting to chat me up repeatedly while I was clearly busy (with both situations, I let him firmly know that the behavior wasn't okay and that I wanted him to stop, which he finally did). Also, when he's not sleeping, he's watching anime at his desk or talking loudly about how he was "up all night last night chatting with new friends," which to me doesn't seem to belie a medical condition (but again - what do I know?).
Now, I did report his inappropriate comments to my manager, who then reported them to our senior director and supposedly he was spoken to, but as soon as a new girl arrived the other day I heard him chatting her up as well in the desk next to me. When he was sleeping at his desk repeatedly two days ago, I finally pinged his manager and let him know he might want to nudge him awake. Yes, I ratted him out; I was sick of it.
So I guess that other than venting, I'm hoping for some feedback on how others would handle this situation? I get that having a "medical excuse" makes it incredibly difficult for HR or management to really do anything, but a female coworker told me recently that she'd had to report him to HR earlier this year for stalking her. Anyone have any thoughts on this? Does HR really have to be completely hands-off in this type of situation? I'm not sure why I'm so bothered, except that his behavior just seems to continue to be tolerated and he's even being allowed to run coveted "special projects." I know this is probably a management problem and well out of my sphere of control; just thought I'd throw it on here to see what people think. Thanks in advance for your comments.