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Submitted by wroschek on



i could use this forums guidance on what to do about a direct who is not responding to systemic feedback and a 'shot across the bow'

over the last 5-6 weeks Steve has approached me about problems with communicating with John. John is not responsive to inquiries for more information, not sharing his work, not following some our main practices, and generally not being a part of the team. I have given feedback to Johan about all of this and I see things turning with him slowly.

with Steve, my 1st response was 'have you spoken with John about this? Have you shown him the type of information you need and what we want it to look like?'

Steve went to my boss and complained that I wasn't listening and was dismissive of his concerns.

John has received very positive praise on his behaviors from others in the organization including his communication style, content and structure of communication, and as I ask around, the concerns Steve has are shared by my team, but so far no one else in the organization.

i have asked for John to communicate more openly to the team and asked Steve to talk with John directly to show him the ways he wants John to work with the team, and I am doing the same with John, but I'm not sure what else to do.

any guidance this forum has to help me increase trust between John and Steve specifically and John and the rest of the team is greatly appreciated.

thank you,


jazzlover's picture

If Steve doesn't know that you're aware he has gone to your boss, you may wish to make him aware of that.

If you haven't solicited your boss' thoughts about Steve going around you to him, you may wish to ask him/her about that.

Did you get a clear answer from Steve when you asked him if he had spoken to John? If not, what about probing further about that? It sounds like you've already listened to the MT guidance on this, but if not, search "have you spoken to". It should help you with what to emphasize as you try to get Steve to take ownership of solving his own problem by building his relationship with John.

Another idea might be to offer to facilitate a discuss between Steve and John, where you play "referee" and ensure that each party clearly understands the other, and can note agreed-upon actions going forward. But I wouldn't do that until you know that Steve has tried on his own to talk to John.

The coaching model has some guidance in bringing about behaviour modification. If you search the podcasts you will probably find it.

Hope this helps!


pucciot's picture
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This PodCast might help

Bridge Between Feedback And Coaching