Hi All,

How have you dealt with a passive agressive coworker? Need some guidance on how to deal with one. Thank you in advance. 

rayagarcia's picture
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There was a podcast from a couple of years ago titled "Assume Positive Intent" that may give you some insight on how to handle these situations.  In my case, it always came back to me and my choices on how I reacted to the co-worker and how to change MY behavior toward them. 

The only thing in your control is your behavior.  Good luck!

Ray Garcia - Midland, TX

Kevin1's picture

Without knowing more about the actual behavior you are observing, I do agree with Ray that you are mostly in control of how you respond.

You can look for shared values and common objectives.  Following the guidance from Crucial Conversations, Covey and MT to acknowledge what they are saying and that it too has some value.  Then ask questions to probe why they might have said something.  Use Feel, Felt Found technique and always assume positive intent on their part.  

If all else fails, try some peer feedback MT style.

Hope this helps


NYC Girl's picture

I agree with both above, and second Ray's suggestion to use Crucial Conversations. I used it to coach a team member (who is not my direct but works on my project team), and the conversation went so much better than expected. 

I work with a few folks like that. One of them just took a job at a competitor, and acted like she was leaving everything in perfect order until I soon discovered she'd done absolutely nothing for her entire last two weeks here. She totally left me in the lurch, but I figure it ultimately says more about her than anything else - even if everyone did think she was a saint.I won't do what she did. 

As the folks say above, MT has great resources - I strongly suggest the Politics 101 series - especially "Know Thine Enemies." They talk about this kind of situation. I'm using it now to deal with a very difficult colleague, with whom I need to team regularly.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!