Hi! Long time listener, first time poster.
Short version: this question is about two entangled problem behaviours:
- pushback by way of argumentation ad infinitum, and
- a refusal to commit to change for future, using the argumentation ad infinitum tactic.
The latter prevents us from moving to Systemic Feedback.
Have listened to every cast on feedback, pushback, and difficult directss, and still a bit stuck.
I'm supporting one of my directs to improve performance and bahaviour if one of his directs. Problem behaviours with the skip are threefold:
a) insufficient work throughput (simply measured by quantity of orders),
b) engrained diagreeability - a habit of engaging in long argumentation, and
c) in feedback, has a key refusal to commit to 'doing differently in future', using the tactic of b) to refuse to engage in the message being delivered.
We're handling a) using an informal perf plan, with measuring and review dates.
b) is more tricky: My direct is tackling b) using feedback in their 1:1 meetings. My direct finds it inherently difficult to advise the direct that their argumentative beahviour is unproductive, whilst also showing respect and listening to grievances fairly. We don't want to silence the skip's voice altogether. Would really love an effective way to encourage change in this behaviour.
I'm most flummoxed by c).
Without the commitment in the "what shall you do differently in future?" we cannot effectively go to Systemic Feedback.
The employee has though, agreed to do more throughput, and agreed in principle that the manager has the authority to provide direction on how they use their time. Despite having agreed, they do still argue.
The second problem the refusal to commit to change. They revert to b) - long argumentative streams, all aimed at invalidating (using myriad ways) the basis for the feedback.
I am asking for your advice on how to specifically handle the skip's the refusal to commit to change c) by using the tactic of b) - extended, elongated disagreeability.
The podcasts cover refusing step 1, and not delivering on step 4, but I haven't found the technique for handling a refusal to commit to change of their behaviour going forward.