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Hey folks.  First time posting here, after being steered towards this site last week.  I spent 8 hours in the car this weekend listening to the Career Tools podcast and love it - wish I'd discovered this resource several years ago.

I've purchased the Resume Workbook and am working on rewriting my resume to match its guidance, and I was hoping I could ask for a little advice.

My concern with my Responsibilities Paragraph is a) it sounds repetitive because a decent bit of my job is administering several distinct large systems and b) I'm not sure if administer is the word I should use for that job duty.  Among ourselves, I think we IT administrators say we "manage" systems, but I don't want to use that word if it sounds weird to others.

August 09 – Present: IT Administrator, Employer / Windows Systems Group – Responsible for administration of Citrix XenApp system and computer labs serving 27,000 users.  Administer 32 host VMware vSphere cluster.  Administer Windows servers to support XenApp system & 1,200 computers in 33 labs.  Administer cost-recovery print management solution for the entire Knoxville campus.  Provide remote access to SAP, Banner, and IT support applications. Consult with colleges and departments concerning the benefits of leveraging central computer lab and system management services.

Here are a couple of my accomplishment bullets.  Would appreciate any feedback on their clarity and effectiveness.

Contributed to selection and implementation of NetApp FlexPod for $3M data center expansion as advisor to executive leadership.

Contributed to elimination of duplicate technology and reduction in support complexity by serving on technology review board.

Reduced average time to deploy new applications from weeks or months to days by implementing Citrix XenApp 6.5.

 

Thanks!

tomw's picture

Think of it this way: use action verbs (which "Adminisister" is not an action. "Responsible for" is not even close). You want the recruiter to be able to picture you doing the job. What does administrering look like? Nothing? That's the problem.

Anything that requires five words to describe and is still vague (cost-recovery print management solution) needs to go.

You cannot interact with colleges and departments. They are buildings and structures. There are people who work there with whom you interact..

Make sure all your verb tenses are the same. Past tense for previous jobs, present tense for current ones.

How well someone can imagine what you did is what matters.

Try this one:

August 09 – Present: IT Administrator, Employer / Windows Systems Group – Install and maintain Citrix XenApp system, 32-host VMware vSphere cluster, and Windows servers to support XenApp system serving 27,000 users. Provide remote access to SAP, Banner, and IT support applications.  Provide support for 1200 computers in 33 labs. Monitor printing costs for the entire Knoxville campus.  Interview deans and department heads to determine requirements for central computer lab and system management services.

See the difference? You can almost see me doing the work.

For the accomplishments.... they are missing something.

They need to tell what you did, how you did it, and (if it's not obvious) what impact it had on the organization. Numbers matter, especially ones that or large and/or with a $ on them. Large ones with a $ on them are the best. To pick on just one:

 - Saved $20K by reducing average time to deploy new applications by implementing Citrix XenApp 6.5.

 

mikestanley's picture

Thanks for the response. 

I don't have hard dollar figures as a measurement for the impact on the university I work for, and I'm not sure how to estimate it.  I can say that a professor requesting Application X last year had to wait up to 3 months for it to be deployed, and today he rarely has to wait a week.  I can say that benefits the university, especially in the sense that it allows the professor to have the software available for his students using the lab - just not sure how to reduce that down to a number without saying something like "average time reduced from X months to Y days."

Your comments about "administer" are what I need to hear.  To someone in IT, administer means "install and maintain" and several other more action-packed verbs, I guess.  Actually, to my colleagues, managing a system means all those things too.  I just agree with you that those words don't have much punch, and I suppose they might not convey a picture of my activities to a recruiter either.

 

Thanks a bunch, I'll keep tuning.

 

Here's one accomplishment bullet that sounded, especially after listening to the accomplishment bullet podcast, like it was just a responsibility, either based on my wording or potential understanding of it.  What do you think?

Migrated 2,200 users from single legacy Presentation Server to 26 node XenApp system with no disruption of service.