Hello Forum

How should I handle this situation?

I received an email from "Anonymous" that my DR intends to resign and work for a competitor in coming weeks. (There was enough detail in the email to indicate that "Anonymous" is likely internal, but not to identify them. I have also confirmed that the competitor is indeed newly creating the functional unit for which my DR has the skills to build such a business).

This team member is a valuable contributor and I have only recently (within the past month) secured them a payrise and greater responsibility. I have been doing O3 religiously on a weekly basis for a year, and I would describe my relationship with my DR as pretty good, given they work remotely; so face to face contact is uncommon.

Anonymous tip-offs are mischief-making, IMHO. However I don't want to lose this team member.

I'd appreciate the collective wisdom.



PS I'm long-term podcast subscriber. They're bloody brilliant.

timrutter's picture

I'd say the only actions you can take from this are to continue doing O3's and to warm up your bench.

As for Anonymous, I personally view this as deeply unprofessional behaviour, you are right to view this as mischief making.


tim26viv's picture

Thanks Tim,

That was my inclination, too.  I've gone back and listed to the 3 part MT casts ( so I'm very comfortable in responding to the information when it is brought to me through appropriate channels. 

My boss and HR, however, have both suggested I directly approach my DR on the topic to "dispel the rumour"....  I can see this resulting in one of a few outcomes:

  • it's true, but the DR denies it and I've just damaged the relationship by implying I don't trust them.  They leave anyway, feeling more justfied in their move. 
  • it's true, the DR admits it, and they are really annoyed that I found out; their estimation of the integrity within our business drops and they feel justified in leaving
  • it's not true, and I look like I don't trust my DR

I'm struggling to see a positive here, so if anyone has another viewpoint I'd love to hear it. 


timrutter's picture

I think you've summed it up succinctly there Tim. There is very little prospect of anything positive coming from that course of action.

Remember HR and your boss are looking for certainty of outcome, so this course of action looks attractive to them. You as the manager, are focussed on relationships and the results they bring, so this quite rightly feels like a dumb move to you.


timrutter's picture

And one more thing:

A good argument to your higher ups as to why not to do this is "do you want to make it impossible for him to return?"