Dear Forum Members:

I am hoping that some may have some good advice for me.  I was recently offered a new position in another state with an organization i have worked for over 10 years.  it was a "grooming" opportunity. I am, now, working for someone who has very little interest in grooming me, and, worse, has been hostile towards me.  I had only been working for this person 3 months and his comments, gestures, indirect negative comments and finally the unprofessional sarcastic comments, lack of communication were interfering with my work as well as my sleep.  I, finally, had a conversation with this person about this, and, the parting comment was " if you see me acting like that, call me out on it".. and it is your fault that you are losing sleep....?  The storm seemed to quiet a bit, at least the unprofessional comments in the open work environment has seemed to temporarily stop.

This person does not communicate unless he has to, leaving me to get information from other parties. This person, recently, had an outburst with someone from another office, which, this other person called me and told me that the conversation was completely unprofessional and that this person was going to elevate it to their supervisor.  I need a way out of this without jeopardizing my career movement.  I want to actually learn my job, which my boss offers little support, nor can he train me on what i should be doing, In essence, i have tripped up in a few newer duties the past 3-5 months since i have started. This is effecting my confidence level and my sleep.  I am not sure who to turn to for support and guidance.  I have been given some advice from this person's boss, but i think that this person's boss is, also, a little surprised by the way this person acts when we have meetings.  I have had a stellar work history up until this point and feel like i am walking int the dark.  I, now, am more fearful of this person's moods, which is more draining.  What do you suggest? I do not want to leave the company, but do not want to continue to deal with this anger and hostility.  I moved to be "groomed" for better things, this is, in no way, professional level grooming.

Thank you!!


raulcasta's picture

Stick to your job and deliver results.  Follow the 18month rule.  Open your eyes for opportunities and have your resume ready.  And by no means lose sleep over this.  Leave work at  "work" and go home to  "home".




uncomplicated's picture


Thank you very much -- thought i was losing my mind since I have transitioned before many times with the same company and have made it work.  What pod casts do you recommend.  I never leave a job without improving it, first.  I need to overcome dealing with someone who doesn't care about me as a person and won't yell as much as long as the results are moving along....

uncomplicated's picture

 thanks --again-

jhack's picture

Mark and Mike covered this situation in a five part series:

John Hack