Last week I had to give some feedback to a sales guy who did not have the right behaviour in front of others in a meeting.
He asked me what I wanted him to do : change his behaviour or really change his mind?
I did not hesitate. I answered that I was asking him to change his behaviour
He was surprised. He asked me why I did not want him to change his mind.
I said I did not pretend to have control over his mind and that he was the only one to run his mind.
He then said : "but it is very difficult to have a behaviour which is not in line with what we think"
I answered : "Yes, you are probably right ... And vice versa."
He just smiled.
I think we can only give feedback on behaviour. And we can only ask for a change of behaviour.
I also think that, by changing your behaviour, you also change the way you think, over time. Try to smile and still be sad. Try to help someone and still hate him ...[/i]