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Submitted by pjt2319 on


Dear all, I would value advice on how to respond to colleague's who are skipping me following my father's death 4 months ago.

I am a high performer, meet deadlines despite recognition from my stakeholder and manager that I carry a heavy workload. My manager is supportive and has complemented me on being resilient and getting results. My manager's peers have started going straight to my directs for work which i am directly responsible for, strategy, job descriptions, work allocation. My directs are saying its because I am busy . I suspect the perception is I am somehow compromised and this is an opportunity to bypass me. I have followed the MT guidance. Is there anything else I can do ?

pucciot's picture
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I would suggest that you use the Peer FeedBack Model


Try to express yourself like this :

"Hey, John.  I appreaciate all of the support that you have been showing me in the past few months since my father passed away.  I'm starting to feel like I am getting back up to speed.

When you skip me and go directly to Jack for Job Description information it takes me out the loop just when I need to be in it."


"Sally, You have been great these past few weeks.  But, when you skip over me to talk about postional strategy directly with Tammy,  It doesn't give me a chance to give input and help make the decisions. "


Acknowledge, or at least give credit for, them trying to be a help to you.  Then let them know that you are still peers and you are ready and back on the job.

Good Luck.





mainer's picture

I agree with the above comment. Perhaps you could also include a line or two about how excited you are to contiune working with these clients at full capacity once again.

All the best! :)