Submitted by keith_rr on
in
Forums
Hello,
I am a long time listener to the Manager Tools podcast and am now in my first real management role in a small company. I have two people reporting to me, one of whom is my director’s wife (we will call her Agnes). Since I am new to the company, only found out about the new reporting structure last week, and since Agnes works from home (with young child in tow) I have not had a chance to meet her yet. I have lightheartedly expressed my concern over the awkwardness of this situation to my director and he informed me that he believed this could work out due to my personality (not sure how to take that). As my first contact with Agnes, I am planning to send a meeting invitation for a face-to-face later this week.
Any insight or advice is welcome. If this all works out – no problem. If there turn out to be insurmountable issues, then I am the odd man out and in somewhat of a pickle.
Thanks,
Keith
Be professional, everything
Be professional, everything else should follow. Don't worry about the relationship unless it warrants it. Let you boss and your direct know your concerns - they should be well aware of the pitfalls and be open to discussion on them.
Main thing is not to act differently or it will show.
Chris
Yikes!
Keith - proceed cautiously/tread lightly, ("fit in, fit in, fit in..."). When you get to the point that you're assigning work and expressing your desired outcomes be VERY, VERY clear.
My opinion: this is a very bad situation, and the odds are that the longer it exists, the more likely it will blow up in your face. Your longterm objective is to get OUT of the situation quickly, in order to limit the likelihood of damage. That doesn't necessarily mean moving on to another company, it just means getting OUT of this situation.
I'm assuming this isn't a large company, because most large companies have rules - formal or informal - about employing spouses in too-close proximity, or in the same chain of command. If this IS a large company, a small alarm bell ought to be going off in your head about it's overall professionalism and ethics.
I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'...
-Hugh
Always look on the bright side of life...
Indeed, a tough situation. The previous advice is good. And yet it's not necessarily a very bad situation...
If she's a good performer, and you're a good manager, the director will get good intel on you. If this is a small or family business, this is not as uncommon as you might think.
KEY: Make sure her goals are clear and measurable.
OTOH....
If this is not a small business, success will mean whispers (or worse) of favortism or other nepotistic shenanigans.
John
Set off a smoke bomb in the
If this happened to me, my plan would be:
1. Detonate a smoke bomb in the bathroom,
2. Set off the fire alarm,
3. Maybe no one will notice me driving out of the parking lot as they run about in confusion.
If you can't manage your boss, how can you manage his wife? (the person who manages him!!!)
Your possibilities for success:
a) She is perfect and no conflict or negative feedback are necessary (hahahahahaha)
b) You cowardly do not manage her and only falsely praise her to ingratiate yourself (not really an MT method)
Everything else seems to me as if it would eventually lead to her yelling at her husband about you in the house. But hey, maybe that's just what would happen to me! :-)
I am reminded of my friend who taught jump school to Navy Seals: "When you get up that door, you won't have to have any courage jump. The wind is going to suck you right out of here!"
Perhaps you are a master of politics and management and will be able to turn this to your advantage. My advice is that you try to have that decision reversed, and if unsuccessful, fire your boss.
-Rob Redmond
http://www.strugglingmanager.com
Yikes times two!
My buddy is a very high performer and had an excellent relationship with his boss. Then the boss assigned her hubby to his software development team. The company had a culture of not firing any of the originals (employees who were there when the company started). My buddy was not an original.
Soon after, I was out for dinner with my buddy when his boss called to chew him out for insisting that hubby pick up the pace. I could hear her screaming through the cell phone over the music and noise on the patio at a sports bar. It was nasty.
Three months later, my buddy was let go. My buddy now has a new job (4 promotions since he took the job I believe) and her hubby has had 5 bosses in 3 years. Draw your own conclusions.
*RNTT
Ha!
Rob - I'm still laughing at the picture you drew. Right on the money! You gave it that certain sense of urgency I was reaching for in my comment...
-Hugh