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Any suggestions about dealing with performance questions from a co-worker? Nosy co-worker?

This person who is at a similar level than me but started a year or two after me keeps asking questions that relate to my performace every time we are in a group. These groups usually involve more senior people. This person does this to me and a few others who are more junior than her. I suspect negative intent although I know I shouldn't. It gets on my nerves every time but have not found a way to deal with this effectively. I know I should be prepared to deal with this questions next time I find myself on a group and this person is present. Any suggestions about the right answers?

pucciot's picture

I recommend the Peer Feedback model

The Peer Feedback Model

https://www.manager-tools.com/2006/10/the-peer-feedback-model

 Here are some examples you may wish to try.

--

Hey [co-worker] When you ask about my performance details in front of everyone in the meeting it makes me feel challenged, and not in a good way.
--

Hey [co-worker] When you ask about my performance details in front of everyone in the meeting it gives the impression that you think that I am not making a complete report and possibly being deceptive or hiding something at the meeting.
--
Hey [co-worker] When you ask about my performance details in front of everyone in the meeting it looks as though you and I don't have good communication outside of the meeting.  If you would like more information about my project status I'd be happy to tell you before or after the meeting.
--
[co-worker] When you ask about my performance in front of everyone in the meeting it might look like we don't get along and that we are acting in a passive aggressive way to each other.  I think we have a better relationship than that.  I don't want to give that impression to others.

--

[co-worker] When you ask about my performance details in front of everyone in the meeting it looks like you are trying to take some kind of authority over me, that's probably not a good look for either of us.

--

I hope this helps

 

Good Luck

TJPuccio

 

Jollymom's picture

I agree with @pucciot. Peer Feedback had been quite effective when I was in the office setup. 

Nice one @pucciot. Love the example you cited.