Submitted by Jrlz on
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BLUF: I have a direct who likes to discuss and debate every decision I make. Should I try and change this behavior or live with it?
Background: I have one direct who wants to discuss and debate nearly all decisions that I make. When I say nearly all I would say 7 or 8 of every 10 decisions I make. In fact, this direct routinely wants to discuss decisions that are made much higher up than I. Up to this point I have thanked this direct for his insight and even have adopted some of his suggestions & ideas. However, it is starting to become a distraction for me to always have to discuss everything from small to large issues. I don’t believe that it is effective to always have to revisit a decision I make and justify it. At some point I believe that we need to just take direction and move on (yes I am a high D & high C).
I am inclined to provide feedback to this direct so that he decreases this amount of behavior. However, I am concerned because I foster an environment of openness and welcome debate/discussion with my directs. I don’t want my directs to feel that they can not discuss and debate things with me. I will also add that this direct is smart and generally does not share with the team any disagreements he may have with a decision. Professional behavior that I appreciate and have provided positive feedback on.
I would love to hear some recommendations and thoughts. Maybe I just need to live with the behavior.
There's a huge difference
There's a huge difference between "debating to make a decision" and "debating a decision."
When you are trying to make the decision is when you want there to be lots of open debate. Once the decision is made, you murder the unchosen options and move on.
I agree
Thank you Tom. You summed it up better than I. My issue is with the debating after a decision has been made and not prior to.
Review this podcastq
There are a pair of podcasts that I encourage you to review. "Professional Subordination - Parts 1 & 2" talks about lively discussion to make the decision then everyone lining up behind the decision and executing the plan. I would encourage you to start by shutting down debate on decisions that you have accepted from above. For the time being continue to discuss decisions that you make. You will need to set up a phrase with your direct that lets you shortcut this. My directs who like to debate know that "this is the boss's decision" is the cue to stop the debate and line up. I guess I should start adding "and I support it" to that phrase.
Review this podcast
There are a pair of podcasts that I encourage you to review. "Professional Subordination - Parts 1 & 2" talks about lively discussion to make the decision then everyone lining up behind the decision and executing the plan. I would encourage you to start by shutting down debate on decisions that you have accepted from above. For the time being continue to discuss decisions that you make. You will need to set up a phrase with your direct that lets you shortcut this. My directs who like to debate know that "this is the boss's decision" is the cue to stop the debate and line up. I guess I should start adding "and I support it" to that phrase.
Thank you MFCULBERT I will
Thank you MFCULBERT I will check out those two pod casts
In the past (before the
In the past (before the podcasts referenced above were published) when i've had skips debating like this with their managers i've used the sphere of influence and control examples to coach the team lead on how to handle this kind of situation. That worked for me quite well for me and gave inexperienced team leads something they could draw and talk about to the direct (rather than using just words).
DISC: 7511