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I've been doing O3s with my directs for about a month now. I'm surprised that only once in all my O3s did a direct want to talk about something work-related.

I know that it's very important to hear about family, outside interests, etc. But is it normal to have such a strong tendency toward "non-work" banter when the direct is spending her 10 minutes?

I don't mind it at all, but I'm just kind of surprised by this.

Tony

ashdenver's picture

The reading I've done says that 10 mins personal banter is not only to be expected but also encouraged. Ten mins personal, 10 mins professional, 10 mins development ... or something like that, as I recall.

[size=9](I initially didn't realize this was in the 1:1 forum and I came in here to mention the one direct I used to have who spends literally the first 45 mins of every work day "making her rounds" - just chatting with everyone in the department - before sitting down to power up her computer. She still works here but no longer for me, thankfully.)[/size]

tvalleav10's picture

[quote="ashdenver"]The reading I've done says that 10 mins personal banter is not only to be expected but also encouraged. Ten mins personal, 10 mins professional, 10 mins development ... or something like that, as I recall.

[size=9](I initially didn't realize this was in the 1:1 forum and I came in here to mention the one direct I used to have who spends literally the first 45 mins of every work day "making her rounds" - just chatting with everyone in the department - before sitting down to power up her computer. She still works here but no longer for me, thankfully.)[/size][/quote]

I recall seeing the first 10 minutes as "their time" to talk about whatever they would like to talk about. I was just surprised to see that this is almost never used to discuss "work" issues that they might want to cover.

juliahhavener's picture

I find that my high S's and C's tend to talk about work. I really have to draw them out to get them to talk about their lives (it took my meeting one of them when we were both our to dinner with our families to get her to talk). My high D's and I's talk about themselves, what's going on in their worlds. It's their time. I encourage them to talk about themselves as much as possible.

LouFlorence's picture

It's 10 minutes to talk about whatever they want. I usually ask an open-ended, general question: "so, how's it going?", "what's going on?", "how are you doing?" 90% of the time my DRs talk about work. The only time I stop them is if they start to give me an update on something we are working on right now. I tell them we can cover that later, this is their time. Then they go back and usually start talking about other work stuff. They are all over the DISC map (mostly S&C, I'd say).

For the first few times as we were feeling our way into these meetings, I encouraged people to talk about whatever they wanted to. Some personal -- mostly work.

My job is just to get them talking.

Lou

pmoriarty's picture

If they want to talk about basket weaving and calligraphy during their 10 minutes, let them. You are reaping huge benefits in building rapport and trust that it's worth it. Use your 10 minutes to focus back on what you want/need to know from them as it relates to work. The final 10 minutes on development should be more collaborative, but work-centric.

Mark's picture

The three posts immediately above mine are on target.

Ashdenver's comments I believe come from her not having listened to the casts. Without listening to the casts, you're really hamstringing your ability to be effective.

It's normal for some to talk about themselves.

Normal.

Mark

Dani Martin's picture

Any suggestions on how I can get [b]more[/b] personal sharing from my directs? I have a few that probably wouldn't mention anything personal if I didn't ask. For example, I'll usually ask "did you do anything fun this weekend?" or "how's your kids/husband/wife?" ... of course I mention said kids/husband/wife by name. :) They answer my questions, but nothing more. The ones I seem to struggle the most with are technically skips and not directs. Since I have a position open, I am their acting supervisor and so am doing O3's with them like I do my other directs.

Advice? Thanks!

Mark's picture

Dani-

The only solution there is time. Some folks just aren't naturally going to share that stuff. Nevertheless, the asking has value; the y recognize that you're interested. They will be more likely to share if it has meaning for THEM.

Don't do anything differently.

Mark