I just moved departments & found out that i cant get all my staff at the old dept to move. :( This dept has a very different culture from my prev one & getting people to setup O3 is very difficult here. I have 13 directs, i've managed to setup O3s only with three of them. The rest are stubbonly resisting to setup a O3(even three weeks away). Should i setup a O3 or should i encourage them to setup :?: The first O3 i had last week, was mostly me talking... Is there some strategy that should be followed, to get them talk :?: I feel like I'm making a mistake here...but cant figure out the right direction to go...

rwwh's picture
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Do they accept Feedback?

akinsgre's picture

I asked a similar question in this post

The answers might apply to your situation as well.

WillDuke's picture
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What does stubbornly resist mean?

Mark has a great technique he shares at the conference: Stick your hands in your pocket, be quiet, and just look at them. Look at them like "is that really your answer?" Eventually they'll talk themselves around to the meeting.

Be tough, insist.

itilimp's picture
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I don't know if it's the MT approach... but I'm tempted to say that you should go ahead and organise those O3s anyway. If they do not turn up for them you can then give them some feedback about this in terms of their wasting the the opportunity to have one-on-one time with you, failing to respect your time, etc. I'd be surprised if many stood up to that for long.

anandrules's picture

[quote="WillDuke"]What does stubbornly resist mean?

By not refusing to set up a meeting on their calendar. I dont think I can take this up. I'm documenting all this, atleast I can give them some feedback during annual review...

WillDuke's picture
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[quote]By not refusing to set up a meeting on their calendar.[/quote]
I'm assuming that's a typo, and you mean they refuse to put it on their calendar.

Yeah, that's a Mark moment with hands in pockets. (He jokingly said it was to help him not hit the other person.) They're in an untenable position. You're the boss, you want them to meet with you.

Now, maybe an emergency comes up that prevents the meeting at the last minute, but there's no emergency 3 weeks out that prevents it from getting on their calendar.

Something just occurred to me. Are you talking to them in person when they refuse, or are you sending email? If you're not face-to-face this is one of those "cowboy up" management moments where you have to go talk to them.

"George, I'd like to meet with you every week for 30 minutes. I am meeting with the whole team. These meetings really give us the opportunity to . I see your schedule is full for the next couple of weeks, so why don't we start on the 25th. From then on we'll make it a regular weekly meeting. How does 9am work for you?"

kenstanley's picture

[quote="anandrules"] I'm documenting all this, atleast I can give them some feedback during annual review...[/quote]

I believe M&M suggest that feedback shouldn't be saved for annual review time, it should happen all the time. There should be no major surprises for directs at annual reviews, because they have already had the feedback during the year.

Mark's picture
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Do you routinely refuse meeting requests of YOUR boss? Very few can get away with that behavior for very long.

This is not an optional meeting. If your directs don't come, give them feedback.

If one of my directs stubbornly resisted, and I did my all to get them there...

I would fire them.

I'm not suggesting YOU do that ("in my organization we can't do that", I know)...I'm telling you how serious I think one on ones to be.

This is the single most important behavior you will engage in. Any failure to attend or engage or contribute will be met with feedback, repeatedly. Long term repeated feedback without change leads to late stage coaching. Failed late stage coaching leads to termination.


Ed Britton's picture

Introducing O3 in a team meeting, before making appointments, is a powerful step - not sure if you did that? Provide rationale, role in building and managing the team, articulate support from your boss, expected benefits. Even share some of the content directly from Manager Tools. Then have a discussion among the group before rolling out the O3.

pucciot's picture
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 I recommend using the word "expect" a great deal here.


In a staff meeting let them all know that doing O3's is expected.


Verbally invite them to put an O3 on their calendars with you - and say that you will "expect" them to do this within three weeks.

If they do not do this -- You need to say that they did not do what you expected them to do.  That now you expect them to make time on the calendar for an O3 within 1 week.


If they do not do this then you need to make it clear that they are not performing according to your expectations.

Be clear -  say it "matter of factly"  not mad.  Say it with a smile.


Give them feedback that it is your job to set out your expectations clearly to the employee.

If they clearly understand your expectations  and they have the skills to meet those expectations --- then they should perform according to those expectations.

Let them know clearly that if they continue to not meet your expectations that this is considered Poor Job Performance.  And you will have to act accordingly.

Good Luck