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In the last month, I've gone from "Hey, I think I might be pretty good at this" to "Boy, I suck at this"

I've had some negative responses from some of my directs, the first inclinations that my team is not performing to the level my boss expects and have been working a ton of hours.

Before someone responds with "Try the MT Trinity".. I've slacked off on feedback and lost my enthusiams for O3s.

I know this is my fault. I guess I'm looking for advice on how I can "reset" my effort and get back on track.

stephenbooth_uk's picture

I suspect you're feeling much as I am right now. I'm assuming that in the US you, like us in the UK, have a long weekend off for Easter. If this is true then I suggest the following:

1) Before you leave for the weekend set yourself some goals for next week to give a certain number of affirming feedbacks and do your O3s
2) Over the long weekend have the biggest blast you can, preferably something physically active and something that's either entirely new or you haven't done in a while (*), so you're not thinking about work (easier said than done, I know)
3) When you come back look at the goals you set your self and endevour to fulfil them
4) At the end of each day take 10 minutes to write a list of at least three good things that happened and one, just one, thing you'd change. Then take 10 minutes to work out how you are going to change the thing you want to change

Stephen

(*) e.g. I'm going to be playing golf for the very first time on Saturday, with my father and my father's girlfriend's sister's husband, I'm expecting a day filled with divots and muttered profanities.

jhack's picture

Greg,

O3s are the #1 most effective tool. Simply restart them. Don't worry about the rest of the tools for now. Do the one on ones.

Renewed enthusiasm is a tough one. Each of us is motivated differently (money, mission, social standing, craft...) so it'd be hard to say what would work for you.

Focus on the one thing you know is most important to your boss. Do that one thing well.

The famous study at Cornell ("Unskilled and Unaware Of It") showed that there is an inverse relationship between one's self assessment and one's actual ability. You know how high the bar is, and you know how much better you can be. You're good. And you want to be better. Nothing wrong with that.

John

akinsgre's picture

Thanks Stephen and John

I am going to spend some time with my family this weekend (something I haven't been doing enough of the last few weeks; unfortunately, I don't get a long weekend).

I am doing O3s still, and am giving a little feedback (5 times a week; all affirming).

But I don't get very excited about the O3s and have really dropped off the number of feedbacks I give.

Just feeling like it's already been a long climb and the mountain just keeps getting steeper.

mikehansen's picture

Greg,

A mountain is not the metaphor to use. Once you climb a mountain, you are done (or at least you get to go down hill). A mountain is daunting. Instead, think of it as working out on a treadmill. You are never done and some days you set the speed and incline higher than others. It is not important to set a record pace every time you get on it, just get on it!

I have been doing O3s for over a year now. Some days I was really not in the mood, and some days I was absolutely energized by the conversations. It is the consistency and effort OVER TIME that makes the difference.

I just got some very positive feedback on a 360 (yes, I know they are not effective, not my call). My highest rating was “Caring about directs”. It was nothing spectacular that I did, I just put in the time. One thing I know for sure, it has made a difference in my life and theirs. I would not take that time back for anything.

By being part of this community and applying the MT tools at work, you are investing in your and your team’s growth and development. Suck it up on the down days, for there will be many.

In the long run, I believe you and I will be amazed at how we have changed and the impact we have had on those whom we lead. It is not easy, and it is often tedious. That is the role we are in. Don’t be frustrated if your enthusiasm wanes, just stay on the treadmill!

Sincerely,
Mike

quentindaniels's picture

Greg,

I'm a newbie so I don't have too much in experience. Something I am starting to learn about myself is how important it is for me to manage my energy. There is a great Havard Business Review article from within the past 6 months about managing one's energy (as opposed to only managing one's time).

I am a 7-7-1-1 and increasingly aware of how much my emotions affect my behavioral tendencies. As the article suggests, I have been paying closer attention to what gives me energy, and what takes it away.

The best trick i have found is recognizing what makes me want to do task X. Then doing that thing before I have to do task X e.g. reading books before work and at lunch really energizes me for a few hours.

The article's recommendations were very helpful to me. I think you would find some of them helpful too. Send me a personal message and I will make sure to get you the article.

Best,

QD

akinsgre's picture

[quote="mikehansen"]Greg,

A mountain is not the metaphor to use. Once you climb a mountain, you are done (or at least you get to go down hill). A mountain is daunting. Instead, think of it as working out on a treadmill. You are never done and some days you set the speed and incline higher than others. It is not important to set a record pace every time you get on it, just get on it!
[/quote]

Thanks!

I think someone broke my treadmill and I can't decrease the incline!!

WillDuke's picture

What would you tell one of your directs? Would you suggest they beat themselves up over spilled milk? Or would you suggest they recognize the behavior and change it?

Don't beat yourself up. It's okay to not "want" to do it. Just do it. I often find that exhibiting the right behavior, and I always "know" what the right behavior is, often leads to the positive feelings that would have had me doing the behavior in the first place. But if I had waited to get my excitement level up I wouldn't have done anything.

So make like Nike. Just do it.

asteriskrntt1's picture

Hi Greg

Are you comfortable sharing what some of the negative responses are? Where are they coming from? Your boss, your directs, clients? I know you said your directs, but is this because someone is telling them negative things that they are passing on? I am just not clear on the source.

Feeling overwhelmed is horrible and being tired from putting in too many hours only compounds it. You can try one of the techniques like Tony Robbins and Zig Ziglar and all the great motivators and trainers suggest.

STart and end your day with a list of positive affirmations, be they religious or secular.... try to list 10 things you are grateful for...say it 3 times when you get up and 3 times before you go to sleep.... I know lots of people who swear by this.... good luck and keep us posted.

*RNTT