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Hello everyone;

I recently got offered and accepted a new position within the company, and my current manager has asked me to provide her with an exit interview. I understand the pitfalls about exit interviews, but she has asked me because she wants to know how she can do better. Although I am no authority on how she should manage I feel caught in a "catch-22". Has anyone else ever been asked this? How should I approach this? I would love to help her with her management skills but I fear that I would say the wrong thing or say something that she may not take very well.

I forwarded the Manager-tools website in the past and will purchase her a copy of [i]The Effective Executive[/i] but I do not know how much further I should go with this. Any arcance knowledge from the MT group would be greatly appreciated in this matter.

thaGUma's picture

If you have read Carnegie ‘How to Make Friends…’ be lavish with your praise and make sure any potential negatives are couched in terms that make any fault possibly your error in perception. Any push back then you give way. Even the present of Drucker’s book could be seen as an affront if badly presented “this is how you should act”!

If you leave a door open for her to use if needed it may become a door you can use later. :P

Chris

asteriskrntt1's picture

I can't cite the podcast but I believe M&M gave a real thumb's down to exit interviews. Plus, you are under no obligation to do them - I mean, what is she going to do? Fire you? Oh wait, you are gone anyhow.

If you feel she is a relationship you want to keep and nurture, politely decline and suggest after you hit the 30 or 60 day mark in your new position, you will happily meet with her for lunch or whatever and give her some feedback.

And give her the book as a thank you, not as therapy :wink:

*RNTT

jhack's picture

No good can come from the exit interview.

Simply reiterate how wonderful the new opportunity is ("Easy commute, an industry I always wanted to work in, All Macs and no PCs," whatever)

You run the risk of burning a bridge. RNTT's idea of meeting her after a few months, as part of an ongoing professional relationship, is probably your best bet if she is sincerely interested in knowing how to do better.

And if you go that route, talk about how "I learned new management practices based on Drucker. My understanding of appropriate managerial behavior was deeply influenced by Manager Tools." Make it about how you grew, not how she can. "This worked for me" is stronger than "You should do this."

John

HMac's picture

Smile. Say "sure, I'd be happy to" when she brings it up.

Then DON'T do it.

Let it drop. She will be hyper-sensitive to criticism right now because one of her people is leaving her, and she's possibly concerned that she's looking bad to others at the company. So what's she going to do with your exit interview? Human nature: she'll rationalize it away.

Have lunch with her in 90 days to "stay in touch." If she has lunch with you (and that is an "IF" by the way...), you can gauge her real interest in hearing about how she can improve.

And by the way - sending "The Effective Exectuive" may be very well-intentioned, but DON'T. Some day when she's tired or cranky, she'll turn to a colleague and say acidly: "He gave me this book on how to be a better manager."

Look CalKen - your intentions are great. But stay off this minefield of emotions.
-Hugh

stephenbooth_uk's picture

Ideally don't do it, you're staying in the same company so there's a good chance that anything you say to her will get back to your new boss, be taken down, edited to change it's meaning and used against you at any and all opportunity.

If you find that you have to emphasise that this is about the new opportunities the role gives you, it's an area of work that you find interesting, the hours suit you better and it's not anything that she's done wrong. Talk about what you like about her, about what you think she's good at and what made you stay on her team as long as you did despite the opportunities that have arisen in the past. Affirm her strengths, don't highlight her weaknesses.

If there's something wrong with her management style then she should be able to work it out herself, she doesn't need you to point it out for her. If she can't work it out for herself then she's not likely to treat you telling her in a remotely positive light.

On giving her "The Effective Executive", if you still want to. Wait till Christmas and give it to her personally, gift wrapped, and say something along the lines of "This is to say thank you for the time when I worked for you. It's a book that I enjoyed and found very useful. I hope that you'll enjoy it as much as I have."

Stephen