Submitted by Ignatz on
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One of my directs is (I'm guessing) pretty high-D. She likes to be in control at all times. In our O3s, she's very relaxed, very funny and very pleasant. On the phone with customers, she's direct to the point of gruffness, and occasionally gets into arguments. Small things can throw her off. For example, if she asks to verify a phone number and the caller gives her a mailing address, she'll get upset. If a caller doesn't understand her explanation of something or complains about poor service, then she'll get really upset and take it out on the caller.
She also has a tendency to take any critiques personally. This has gained her a reputation as a poor performer and has hurt her professionally. Her numbers are excellent, but she gets passed over for special projects. She really wants to move up into management, but she's afraid that her communications skills and reputation will hold her back.
I've given her some pointers, but they're not much. I keep reminding her to say 'please' when she asks for information, and to try to modulate her voice rather than use the precise monotone she favors. This isn't a field I've studied much, since I'm a pretty strong communicator naturally.
How can I help her improve her phone skills, and how can I help her manage her reactions? Any help is appreciated.
Thanks,
Vince
Please Explain her Role - Help for High-D direct
Vince,
Please explain her role with your company. Try to highlight behaviors that, when well done contribute to good results and allow her to be professional.
This will help us understand the context within which the behavior you explain takes place. We can better understand its severity. In certain companies and roles, the behavior you describe can lead to disciplinary action.
Have you given her feedback on the behavior?
Frankie
Frankie's right...
Feedback. It won't all happen at once.
and coaching.
Have you gone back and re-listened to the "basics" podcasts? They're great, and I find I learn a lot from a second listen...
John
Vince, Feedback. Lots of
Vince,
Feedback. Lots of feedback - mostly positive - over time. She's been this way her whole life. She isn't going to pull a 180 for you all of a sudden.
-Rob Redmond
http://www.strugglingmanager.com
I know this is slightly off
I know this is slightly off the reservation in terms of the MT approach however being a High D myself, I would suggest the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz for her. Certainly everyone would benefit from the book's concepts but it can be truly life-changing for a High D who has a tendency to try to control other people and other things. When people don't do what we would expect them to do, we take it personally. ("We" being those of us who recognize ourselves or past selves in the woman's actions as you've described them.) We get upset that they're not playing by our rules, that they're not able to adhere to the direction we want them to go. The book helps people let go of that idea and allows other people the freedom to do and be whoever they are. If they want to answer the phone number question with their mailing address, so be it. That's their thing and not a reflection on our own ability to communicate.
That said, as the other folks have indicated, FB and coaching will be the professional way to go. "When other people on the floor hear you tell a client 'Will you please let me finish speaking?' they see your words as rude and abrupt which colors their opinion of your ability to perform well. What could you do differently?"
"When you sat quietly and allowed the client to speak until they were done speaking, your client felt they had been heard, your coworkers noticed your patience and tolerance and the call ended successfully. That was fantastic and I'm proud of you - keep up the great work!"
Back to the book recommendation, one of the four agreements is "take nothing personally" and another one is "make no assumptions." I think both of these things would do her a world of good if she could incorporate them into her daily professional life. If you don't give her Ruiz's book, I would suggest at least trying to coach her on those concepts and build your feedback to her around those concepts wherever and whenever possible. "When you do this, it appears as though you're taking things personally. What could you do differently?" "When the customer said this and you responded with that, it appears you made a few assumptions based on facts not in evidence which resulted in a seeming non sequitur which confused the client. What could you do differently?"
*two cents*
Okay, it seems a little
Okay, it seems a little clarification is in order. :-)
I manage a team of eight customer service reps in a call center. It's a pretty stressful environment: we live and die by the number of calls taken, and the percentage of calls that get dropped. There's a huge pressure on the reps to take as many calls as possible. It's very easy for the reps to get focused on ending the call rather than on resolving the problem. It can be challenging to maintain good customer service when you're under the gun.
I did give her some feedback and asked her what she could do to keep from getting too upset when her routine gets challenged, and she seemed a bit nonplussed. I don't think she'd ever considered the question. I'll keep working with her on this; she really does want to move up in the agency, and I'd like to see her succeed.
Ashdenver, I'll have to track down that book. Thanks for the recommendation.
Vince
I recommend you not discuss
I recommend you not discuss "getting upset." She can and will get upset all she wants. What you want is effective behavior - not emotional control and metaphysical self-exploration.
Focus on behavior:
- Raising her voice
- Speaking quickly
- Interrupting others
- Skipping the use of polite language
Focus on behavior. If you ask her what she can do to not get upset, she will possibly come back with the answer, "Nothing. They make me upset." Now you are faced with providing therapy instead of management, and you are probably not qualified to do that.
Stick to her facial expressions, words she says, tone of voice, body language, performance, etc.
-Rob Redmond
http://www.strugglingmanager.com/