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I'm trying to get better at forming my affirming feedback for different DISC types.

I know that this was covered across a couple different Podcasts, but I'd like to build on that here.

One that I'm trying to build is based on these two "When you X" steps.

"When you ask what my plans are for thanksgiving, Here is what happens: you take some of the 'business-only' feel off our interactions, and I feel like I'm becoming part of the team."

"When you take the time to open up and discuss technical details of your work, Here is what happens: I feel like you're more willing to be honest and trusting of my opinion, and I think they'll be less opportunities for me to be 'out of the loop' when we deploy our systems"

Both of these center on how I feel about their behavior, and I think that this probably isn't that effective for most people. But especially not for Cs.

Can someone help with some examples? Either based on these or on your own experience?

Thanks!

jhack's picture
akinsgre's picture

Thanks.. That post was very helpful.

I reversed the "affirming" feedback and it seems to work pretty well.

Mark's picture

I know there are some of you who don't like the tone of some of what US41 suggests - there's a directness that many might confuse with abrasiveness.

But he's VERY SMART. I've seen him at work, and know him personally.

He's good.

Mark

akinsgre's picture

I do like US41's response here.

I have two challenges. Figuring out which "Here's what happens.." to use for one of my team members.

He, of all my team members appears not impressed by my feedback. And honestly, I think that his response to my feedback is, "I've been here for longer than you, who are you to give me positive, or negative feedback".

In other words, I'm having confidence problems :-(

Everything else is going great. My team just completed a project ahead of a critical deadline. The team seems to have welcomed me. And I'm getting positive responses from everyone (even the senior team member).

There is nothing this guy is doing that needs immediate adjusting feedback. I'm not finding behaviors I can identify that indicate he feels the way I think he feels.

wendii's picture

Greg,

it sounds to me like you're making assumptions about what he thinks. He might not be impressed, but also he might be a bit slower on warming up to you, might be more skeptical about the way you manage, might have wanted the job for himself, might be more emotionally guarded, or not emotional at all.

As was said in a recent cast, we don't live in perfect manager tools world, and sometimes people don't do what we expect. All you can do is do it the way you know is right, and effective for you, and not try to control his reaction.

Wendii

Mark's picture

Greg-

Don't make the perfect the enemy of the good. You never NEED to tailor feedback completely to someone. At its most basic, feedback can be,

Hey, when you do that, I appreciate it.

There's no tailoring there...but few would say they couldn't care less whether their boss appreciates something.

Start with the basics.

And, Wendy's right. Stop guessing. Behavior, behavior, behavior.

Mark

akinsgre's picture

Thanks Mark and Wendii,

I'll keep practicing.. And I imagine I'll get more comfortable with the feedback and I'll continue doing as much as I can to focus on behavior