I'm hoping for feedback on how to better supervise one of the 3 people who report to me.
I am a High I on the DISC, and ENFP/J on the MBTI, a very big-picture thinker who is outgoing, a quick thinker, and enjoys coming up with new ideas. On the downside, I am often too empathetic and not assertive enough. I can be impulsive, overly emotional/anxious, and too easily persuaded. I work extremely quickly and have a lot of energy to get things done. At my worst, I don't have enough self-awareness, and realize that someone else has frustrated me, only after I've snapped at them.
One of my directs is most likely a high D with a lot of Conscientiousness. She is really a solid right-hand person, and is a good counterbalance for me in that she is very practical and detail-oriented, and focuses on quality where I focus on quantity. However, she has a *lot* of strongly-held opinions and often states them, publicly, and in a very decisive manner, typically about how some process or procedure or office operations "should" be done. The way she states these things is very assertive, even aggressive, and I find myself becoming annoyed that she feels she needs to question why we do every little thing in the unit, and seems to think she deserves an explanation or justification about why they should be that way. She has also been open about telling me (confidentially) that she doesn't think I'm holding other staff to the same standards; giving me tons of feedback on my management style (in a way that is helpful and not insubordinate, but just a *lot* of feedback).
I find myself doing a knee-jerk agreement with her forceful suggestions, then realizing later that I didn't actually agree with her, then finding myself becoming really annoyed with her. I have given her feedback that I would prefer that she take a softer and less agressive tone with me, and it's helped for a little while, but only for a while.
It's not the worst situation, but I am becoming frustrated that she feels entitled to question every policy or procedure or say that things need to be done a different way than they are. When I disagree with her, she can become emotional and even sarcastic, which is really not something I feel I should put up with.
What I think I need is a "script" I can use to help her see that I'm taking her suggestions into consideration but I have my reasons not to always change things to "her" way.
I also need help figuring out how to give feedback on nonverbal communication which I perceive as sarcastic (not quite insubordinate, but just unpleasant).