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I am a high 'S' and am beginning to believe that I cannot manage my directs in the necessary manner that will allow me to move into the next level. There is too much doubt, too much worry about what others think and directs that take advantage of my style who are high other profiles.

I'm very discouraged.

tlhausmann's picture

Hello Jim,

When I reflect on the some of the best people *I* have ever worked for...I am certain at least two were high 'S' personalities. Their strengths lie in the ability to genuinely and warmly convey concern for others. They were people-oriented, patient listeners, and great coaches.

Although your posting is very short, have you recently encountered directs who were not following procedures? Have you any directs who "reverse delegated" when you assigned a task?

If so, how have you handled such situations in the past?

Manager Tools is a friendly environment with many very experienced leaders...we can help.

Dani Martin's picture

What a kind and caring response, Tom. Ditto to the last paragraph.

I can almost feel your frustration in your post, Jim. I encourage you to provide more specifics and let this amazing community help, support and encourage you!

Dani

kklogic's picture

Jim,

I'm a geek about personality profiling. I read about DiSC, Emergenetics, Myers-Briggs --- you name it. I have yet to find ONE typing system that suggests certain types can only perform certain duties and that others types are precluded from doing those same duties or jobs.

You may go about achieving an end result a different way - but who cares? There is zero harm in it.

You sound overwhelmed. As the others have said, I encourage you to share specifics so we can help - and also for you to start (if you haven't already) to listen to podcasts that give you the tools you need to feel competent at your job.

RichRuh's picture

I'm convinced my company president is a High-S. He's a "Level 5 Leader," as described by Jim Collins in [u]Good to Great.[/u] In fact, in reviewing that chapter, Collins describes quite a few High-S behaviors.

--Rich

IanPratt's picture

This is the description for "s" from Wikipedea

Steadiness:(Submission in Marston's time): People with High S styles scores want a steady pace, security, and do not like sudden change. Low S intensity scores are those who like change and variety. High S persons are calm, relaxed, patient, possessive, predictable, deliberate, stable, consistent, and tend to be unemotional and poker faced. People with Low S scores are described as restless, demonstrative, impatient, eager, or even impulsive.

HIgh S sounds like a good trait for a manager, you need some stable people about.

To be honest the vibe I get from your post you might be better of searching this site for one on one information. (O3) I think it gets referred to. Getting your one on ones right will help you to get control over your team.

Jim Clark's picture

Thanks for all the feedback. You all are very pereceptive in narrowing in on some of the issues.

That being said, if I were to look back and evaluate the problem could be fear and lack of confidence in my own abilities that translate into having difficulty addressing performance issues (both affirming and adjusting) with good feedback.

My O3s could use some work for sure. My feedback sucks which I think comes from the points in the paragraph above. There are times I can get myself to the point of getting past these mental blocks. Other times I can't and I know that hurts me, my team and my future.

I could give examples of issues with my directs, but I'm pretty sure it comes down to the first concentric circles leading from my desk.

Thanks again for the feedback. Not sure where to go from here, maybe consider a career change..."you want fries with that?" :?

Jim Clark's picture

Thanks for all the feedback. You all are very pereceptive in narrowing in on some of the issues.

That being said, if I were to look back and evaluate the problem could be fear and lack of confidence in my own abilities that translate into having difficulty addressing performance issues (both affirming and adjusting) with good feedback.

My O3s could use some work for sure. My feedback sucks which I think comes from the points in the paragraph above. There are times I can get myself to the point of getting past these mental blocks. Other times I can't and I know that hurts me, my team and my future.

I could give examples of issues with my directs, but I'm pretty sure it comes down to the first concentric circles leading from my desk.

Thanks again for the feedback. Not sure where to go from here, maybe consider a career change..."you want fries with that?" :?

US41's picture

Jim,

* You are not a label. You are Jim. Do not allow an 'S' label to define and limit you. The DISC is supposed to be a helpful tool in modifying your behavior to interact more successfully with others - not a set of boundaries within which all of your behaviors live.

* You can drive any sort of behavior you choose. You may doubt, but you can still be decisive. You may want people to get along, but you can still fire someone who needs firing. You can be any way you are willing to be as long as you consciously try to be that.

* There are high S people who are very successful managers. Some of them are successful because they become the trusted advisor of their boss. Their loyalty and support is so valuable they are pulled up the ladder behind their boss. Drucker says this is how most promotions actually happen and that Effective Executives drive boss success because being pulled up is the most likely scenario.

* There are high S people who appear as high D's and I's as needed because they are very self-aware and learn to act differently

* There are high S people who become CEO's because they have a close advisor who is a D, I, or C to whom they actually listen and who's advice they actually follow despite their own gut telling them different

How do I know all of this? Because I have a high S working for me and I am a high D. He is very successful, I pull him along, and without having followed some of his key advice over the years, I would not have succeeded to the degree that I have.

DCochrane's picture

US41 -

Do you have to hand where "Drucker says this is how most promotions actually happen"? My experience in various public sector organisations suggests that this is accurate but - as a High C - I'd like to investigate Peter Drucker's argument at source.

Thanks for your contributions, which are always thought provoking.

David

bug_girl's picture

Hi Jim! As another High S, I had to really work when I first got into a high level mgmt. situation.
Running small teams, I rock. Early career, I was known for having the happiest groups. They ran like a top and consistently produced.

This, of course, got me promoted. Then....things got a lot harder!
The biggest challenge for me is managing conflict. High Ds are difficult to manage as an S, and I have an additional challenge of coming from an abusive background. (I strongly suspect that's why I'm a S, actually.)
Conflict freaks me out. It's still something I have to consciously work at.

It can be done, and please see your S as a strength.

It sounds to me like you need a vacation or a break--that sort of "I'll never get this" is the way I think when I get overly stretched or exhausted.
A week and some quality nap time later, I'm back to loving my job again.

sklosky's picture

Jim and Bug Girl,

I have an interesting observation.

High D's expect conflict. This is counter-intuitive to High S's.

Just as high S's think something's wrong in a conflict laden environment, high D's are uncomfortable in a conflict free zone.

HTH,
Steve

bug_girl's picture

No, some conflict is ok. It's the nature of the conflict that gets to me.

Really High D's make me just want to point to the corners of the room and say:

"Look, just go ahead and mark this as your territory, ok? Pee all over it. And [i]then[/i] can we please get back to the matter at hand???"

:roll:

Different ideas are fun and exciting.
Yelling and posturing--not so much. I have enough D in me to be able to push back effectively, but it's very tiring.

I expect it's equally tiring for D's to try to be all sensitive and emotive while communicating with S's too :lol:

[b]
Edited to add: [/b]I think the thing that makes it most stressful for me is the little voice in my head from my past that says "ohgodhesyellinghesgoingtohitme." I don't think that's common to all S's. At least, I hope not! Our past shapes our present behavior--it's up to us to decide if we will let it control us.

HMac's picture

[quote="sklosky"]I have an interesting observation. High D's expect conflict. This is counter-intuitive to High S's.[/quote]

I think we High D's just see "conflict" as another form of communication. Like debate. Or Disagreement.

(Maybe we even see it as another opportunity to convince others of our world view! :lol: ).

-Hugh

AManagerTool's picture

It's funny. I tell my staff to argue with me...I like it!

MsSunshine's picture

BLUF: The trick to being comfortable with is to mentally step out of yourself and observe the situation. Almost all of the time, their emotion is directed at a problem not at you personally. I mentally think of backing away. I think to myself what is their body language really saying? What is the real problem here when you push aside all the posturing? Why am I reacting to this? What do I want out of this conversation? This keeps me from hyperventilating or reacting to their strong emotions. One book I read (I think it was "Getting to Yes") called this "going up to the balcony". I find when I keep calm, they calm down and we get to the point. Or maybe I decide they just want to vent. In either case, I don't let it stress me.

The hint is that feeling tired is a sign of stress. So, if I feel tired after an encounter, I step back to analyze why that stressed me and how I can handle it differently.

FYI, my profile is very similar to yours - 5-5-5-2 (Counselor). My current team tells me I'm the best manager they ever had. I know I'm not perfect by any stretch but I work at it very hard. The Manager Tools podcast on feedback, delegation, "shot across the bow" really helped me a lot. Armed with confidence that I can do it gets me there at first. Then it's practice, practice, practice. Hang in there. Each time gets easier.

lazerus's picture

One word for high s or c managing Ds or I types (which are easier for us to analyze BTW):

Courage