I wrote WillDuke a PM to kick this discussion off:
I wonder how you go about working with people with High D (and high C) behaviours? my profile is 2-5-6-4. I often find if someone has High D and perhaps high C, I have a lot more difficulty in building an effective relationship with them. If they are High D and I, I can deal with because they have the 'people' aspect to their behaviour.
Your profile is most similar to mine (especially the D=2!) and I'm interested to share notes. [/quote]
[quote="WillDuke"]I know what you mean about working with a high DC. I've certainly had my share of difficulty there as well. I remind myself of a couple things.
1. Respect is key. Their is no "right" way to be.
2. They don't mean it. It's just a communication style.
3. They don't take it personally when you say it either.
4. Don't pussyfoot around.
There are times when I envy the DC personality. They can sure can produce a truckload of work in a hurry.
I was talking to a high D the other day. In the middle of my sentence he turned away from me and walked away. He wasn't being rude, he just had what he wanted and was moving on. Amazing.
It's not natural for me to be as direct with a DC as they want. But I can do it. If I know it's coming up in advance I prep myself. I figure I've got 10-15 seconds to deliver the bulk of my message. M&M call it BLUF - Bottom Line Up Front. I've adopted this into my life. I tell all my directs, especially that high S, that they need to practice it. Very effective.
They work hard. They can really produce. But they can wreak havoc on your team if you let them. For the most part they know that they are the way the are. They're willing to make adjustments to their interpersonal skills but they need to be reminded why that's important.
The long and short in my experience, and I'm no pro, is that a DC is a terrific person to have on your team. Are you having any specific issues? I'd be happy to offer what I can. Though for specifics the boards will help as there are some DCs on there to give their take on things. If you want to go that route, feel free to quote anything I've said here.
So, I'm wondering if others would like to chip in on the discussion. Specifically, my situation is that I have a high-D/C individual with whom I am a peer and I feel (note the word [i]feel[/i]) that trust is low and the relationship is not as effective as it could be. He probably doesn't notice. My profile is 2-5-6-4.
I am the product and project manager, he is the hardware design manager. I don't have any direct reports. The hardware design group reports to him.
My observation of his behaviour:
[*]On occasions I start talking before he's quite finished (yes, I know, and I'm working on it!) He has said "Let me finish!" or "Shush!" - That's a hard thing for a high-S to get over :-)
[*]He often points out (publicly, by CC'ing everyone) errors in detail in my communications
[*]When I ask for some information from him or to arrange a meeting with him for example, he'll ask did ask you to do this?
[*]When I ask him for progress updates, he responds "tell me exactly what you want to know." If I knew what I wanted to know, I wouldn't have to ask. I'm looking for exceptions, and notable achievements but unless I ask closed questions, he declines to respond in any useful way.
I've tried to be objective about the behaviour but..... any ideas, comments? Especially from anyone with high-D/C (what do you expect?) and low-D - how do you deal with this situation?
Apologies for the long post.
How can I begin to improve the effectiveness of this relationship? (I should note that this is one relationship out of 29 others in the organisation that are fine.