Thanks M&M... would have had no clue how to approach this without you. Worse, I probably would have let HR "take care" of it. (HR forced my hand... people went straight to HR to complain. Wimps. That includes the VP complaining to HR) Can you imagine how much bigger a deal it would seem to an individual contributor to be called in to HR on such an issue?

I spoke to my DR right before lunch, on the theory that if he wanted to, he could go home during lunch to address the issue. I would hate to hear about something like that right AFTER lunch and be self-conscious the rest of the afternoon.

I took the script from the show notes and copied it out onto a yellow pad so it wouldn't look like I was reading some script I got off the Internet. :oops: (cause I am not that good that I could memorize it)

WillDuke's picture
Training Badge

And how did it go?

terrih's picture

He seemed to accept it... he didn't say much. When I said "I hope we can have a delicate discussion," he said, "Just bringing it up!" by which I think he meant to thank me for bringing it to his attention, 'nuff said as it were. I am only going by tone of voice there, of course, and I've been wrong before. :oops:

I can't say really how it went til the follow-up, right?

WillDuke's picture
Training Badge

You know Terri, I think you're a pretty great boss. I see you here on the boards talking about things; thinking about things. I see you making efforts outside of your comfort zone. Come on, how many of your peers would have just let HR deal with it? That's the easy thing to do - for you.

But you didn't do that. You took the bull by the horns and wrestled him down. You did your job.

As for what you can and can't know - trust yourself. You know what you know. :)

terrih's picture


Thanks... I beat myself up a lot for not doing more FB, etc. But thanks.

rthibode's picture

I'm very impressed right now Terri! I love your share about the yellow pad. I'd do that!

Let us know how it goes.

ctomasi's picture

Excellent recommendations on a tough subject, Terri. Thanks for the additional information.

Re: Yellow notepad. I have some of the MT (O3) notes and occasionally take them out for my senior team members and ask them "What are your thoughts on X?" (yes, I say "X"). A little humor often gets them to open up and be candid.

terrih's picture

:lol: That's a good one.