Submitted by JeteyeMa on
in
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Hi All,
BLUF: How many times can you ask for someone's name when they are mumbling it? Is there a more polite way to ask them to clearly communicate who they are?
I loved the "Introducting yourself" podcast today and wished people knew to follow the guidance. The problem, as usual, is most people don't.
I was at a 10 person meeting two days ago and everyone except the chair and one coworker was new to me. Even before the chair asked for introductions I was trying to get the names of the people filling the small room. Communication was difficult since the room was barely larger than the conference table. Almost every person shortened their full name to what felt like two syllables or just gave their first name (the people who just gave a first name were women which correlates to what Wendii read, though I haven't noticed the trend in the past).
I asked two people for their name twice but they didn't get the clue. My Chinese coworker next to me was paying close attention and asked how I got as much information from the exchanges as I did. I'm glad I had the native language advantage. Frankly, I did a lot of guessing. The meeting was called to order and the chair called for introductions. I still couldn't make out most of the names. I hope to get the minutes from the note taker, but don't know how long that will take or if I will be able to relate that back to the faces in the room.
How can you get people you don't know to communicate their names? Audiograms show that I have above average hearing (I work in acoustics) but I'm contemplating lying to people and saying I'm hard of hearing.
Many thanks to both MT for the casts and the community,
Craig Dolder
Ask them to spell it for you.
I interact with a very international work force in DC with lots of different native languages. Often when I am making introductions the names are not names I have heard before and/or the names are spoken with thick accents. I will often say something like, "I want to make sure I get your name right. Can you spell it for me?"
This is usually the result of my being from a different culture/language. Everytime I have used it my counterpart in the conversation has been understanding - even happy to clarify. More often than not it leads to a discussion of our different cultures (great benefit). Sometimes the request to spell their name leads to fingers in the hand mimicking writing the letters or writing it out on paper or the handover of a business card. All good conversation starters. Asking them to spell it works very well when the person and I are from different cultures/native languages. I know the advice from the podcast is to not write it down, but in some of these cases I do write it down.
For people within my same language/culture - who simpy mumble - I make the same request. In some of those instances it hasn't work as well because it leads to spelling "Bill" or "Jane." Once or twice it has been accompanied with a look of disdain (out of hundreds of requests). In general it works well enough I am not worried about these cases.
Ask them to spell it for you.
Thank you williamelledgepe. There was a lack of cultural diversity in my last meeting aside from my peer from China, but I am sure that your approach will be useful.
Cheers,
Craig