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Well, I am not sure it really is management, but I'd like to share an idea that can change a lots of things.

A few years ago I read a little book written by a guy who made some experiment about people who are lucky and people who are unlucky.
He finally "proved" that YOU create your luck. A lots of small attitudes or behaviours are finaly what makes the difference between "lucky" and "unlucky". I think it was named : "the little book of luck".

The book was just good, but there was a [b]jewel[/b] in it : the guy said that if every night you make the effort of writing in a note book at least 3 positive things that happened to you that day, you will find out that, each day you have more and more of them to write down !

I took the habit each night before I went to sleep to mentally search for those "3 lucky moments".
And then I took the habit at dinner or during my "evening phone call" to my family when travelling, to ask my kids and my wife that they tell me those 3 lucky moments they have had that day.

Try it ... Easy, pleasant, and ... Doesn't that change your life ? :wink:

Ced

Mark's picture

Now THIS is a real gem, Cedric! I love the idea, and will try it and let everyone know my experience.

Many thanks sir.

Mark

MsSunshine's picture

During a recent really rough period, I decided to spend the ride home thinking the best thing that happened to me that day. There were hard days but I found a few things.

1. A lot of times the really great things were little moments or baby steps of progress I overlooked. Like some one who was really high C stopping in my door to tell me about something good that happened to them or say thanks for something.
2. I never ended up with only one good thing because I kept trying to top it all the way home.
3. I walked in the door to my family in a great mood. They quickly noticed the difference.
4. Friends at work quickly notice that I was "back to the old you". When I shared it with them, they started doing the same thing and the group mood spread.
5. I found myself starting the next day on a goal to have more of those instead of wondering how to make it through.

cwatine's picture

Nice story.

Did you share those moments with your family?

I found out that talking together about those little nice events IS a good experience ... Isn't it nice to hear your loved ones that they have had a nice time?

PierG's picture

Cedric,
is all a matter of focus.

Being a father I remember when my wife was pregnant and we were asking ourselves why all women in the planet decided to have a child exactly in that moment.
Being pregnant we were focused on it and our brain started noticing what we were noticing just the day before: walking around you sometimes meet someone who's pregnant.

That's the same with good luck-bad luck: you start putting in practices strategies to cope with your feelings. If you feel you have good luck, you'll instinctively act/notice/concentrate/focus on the positive results of your behaviors.

Ciao,
PierG

cwatine's picture

PierG-

I agree 100%.

I think 2 things can change our perception of the world around us:

[b]- things that happen to you change our perception of the world. [/b]
Example : When my wife and I were confronted with the fact our daughter was handicapped, we suddenly realized that a lots of people in our neighborhood were confronted to the same thing. What had changed? Us. Now we could see them. Not before.

[b]- YOU control YOUR perception of the world[/b]
Example : Mark shared a story at the Amsterdam conference, about this : the Umbrella story. After having been bothered by the umbrella of another guy, Mark said to his friend :"God! This guy made me mad !". and his friend answered : "No, this guy bothered you with his umbrella and YOU decided he made you mad!"

In fact, as we are "thinking" animals, the world IS the way we perceive it. There is no REAL world, there is just the world as YOU decide to see it...

rachaelip's picture

This is definitely something I need to try as I have a tendency to be a bit cynical and judgmental.

[quote="cedwat"]

Did you share those moments with your family?

I found out that talking together about those little nice events IS a good experience ... Isn't it nice to hear your loved ones that they have had a nice time?[/quote]

Good point about vocalizing these moments to help make them real. A friend who is a therapist once explained the importance of this by saying that a thought isn't truly formed unless it is articulated in some manner (i.e. writing it down or telling someone).

AManagerTool's picture

"The Secret" strikes again...

There are literally hundreds of books on this topic (which are less hyped than The Secret, BTW) which lends some credence to the hypothesis. I personally believe in it. I am a natural cynic but my cynicism has been softened greatly by how I am teaching myself to view everything in a positive light. I don't believe in the "Magic" of it all but rather in the psychology of positive thinking.

cwatine's picture

No secret here. Talk about nice things will make you happy and notice easier what is good in life.

Simple. Just need to do it. Regularly.

It has changed a lots of things in the conversation we have in the Family.

cwatine's picture

Oh and by the way ... Cynism is the best thing that intelligent people can do to harm themselves and the people arround them.

I also can be very good at it, but it usually strikes back very hard : it makes you demotivated and demotivating.

Cynism is often the opposite of Enthousiasm. Which one do you really need?

Tamtam10000's picture

There is an English woman called Clare who started a sort of movement using this sort of technique. Every day she blogs 3 Beautiful Things that she has seen or have happen to her.

Her blog has spawned many other '3BT' blogs and she's been in the press a lot over here too. I think she may even have a book out.

Here is her blog (which makes enjoyable reading): [url]http://threebeautifulthings.blogspot.com/[/url]

Tamsin[/url]

robertomarroquin's picture

Definitely, thinking positive is a great tool towards having an overall good attitude and also is a way of attracting positive attention.

Feels grate when somebody recognizes you as the guy that's always smiling
(and I do :D )

WillDuke's picture

I also love the idea of recognizing positive things that happened to you.

But I suggest we take it up a notch. How about writing down 3 positive things you did today?

Move from passive to active.
I picked up some litter in the parking lot.
I smiled and let someone merge in front of me in traffic.
I smiled and opened a door for someone with their hands full.

What does everyone think?

Tamtam10000's picture

"Be the change you wish to see in the world".

Was that Ghandi?

I think I'm going to end up with a 3x3, as I already do 3 beautiful things, then 3 things I'm thankful for, and now 3 things I did.

Mark's picture

I have been doing this for the past few weeks, per my comments to Cedric.

I am naturally an incredibly optimistic person - Mike and I consider our optimism a huge factor in our success. I have had a daughter go through cancer, I have been diagnosed similarly, I have faced terrible life threatening situations...and still I believe that things are going to turn out well.

I have been in situations with others whom I know and respect - with them at the same point in time, facing the same awful possible outcomes - and they saw all the problems, while I saw the problems AND the opportunities.

And regardless of my boundless optimism and belief in the trajectory of humankind and history:

Cedric's recommendation works beautifully. I now am using a small notebook by my bed to capture those - unrelated to this thread, which I have only just now caught up with.

It's lovely. There are people dying from hunger right now, probably FAR from where you are. That's a life that will not deliver its potential to us. We are silly and small if we do not fall to our knees and humbly appreciate the richness of our daily safe, secure, well-fed/clothed/sheltered lives.

Life is good. Attention thereto will make it even better.

Mark

svgates's picture

[quote="mahorstman"]Life is good. Attention thereto will make it even better.[/quote]

Elegantly succinct.

cwatine's picture

I hope you all keep on that : asking your friends and family to talk about what nice things happened to them today. Or also doing it for yourself in a note book like Mark does.
My little daughter (3 year old) is so good at it and she comes up with very funny remarks that make the whole family laugh. I think you must learn from very young to see the good aspects of life!

I see exactly what you mean, Mark, when you say that you are often the one who sees the positive side of things.
I have recently been blocked in a Hospital room for some days with my handicapped daughter who had just had an operation.
I feel so lucky to be a company owner who is able to take some off time in order to be with his daughter to help her when her mother can't. I am really so lucky to have my teams run the company when I am away and still manage them from distance through ... well ... O3s !

And even if it shocks... I REALLY appreciated this time.

It was a time away from work. A time when I could read, think and write for a long time without being disturbed. A perfect opportunity to re-think about what direction I want to give to my life ... Just when I needed it!

kklogic's picture

Cedric,
I truly don't know how I missed this thread until now. I used to make a practice of doing exactly this each night, but have fallen off the wagon. Thank you for the reminder to reinstate this habit. I think I have found one of my good things for today!

Another thing I try and remember to do is to be grateful for the "bad" things as well. They are opportunities to learn, forgive and to let go. This has helped me through some very rough experiences and allowed me to put them into proper perspective without becoming bitter over them.

cwatine's picture

[quote="kklogic"]Cedric,
I think I have found one of my good things for today!
[/quote]

kk,

Me too now.
Thank you.