I have a female supervisor wiith 23 years experience total and 5 years at this present company that keeps putting her hands on me after only 9 weeks at my new job.

So far she has put her hand on the middle of my back rubbing me straight up and down the middle of my back while we were talking one day when i first started the job after that five other things have happened there that include:

Coming up from behind me and putting both her hands around my neck for making a data entry mistake on the computer

Coming up from behind me and patting me on the back as she walked by while i was working at the computer.

Coming up from behind me and bumping her hand on my thigh to talk to me.

She even asked me to dance with her at work and also has slapped me once for making a data entry mistake.

Any advice would be helpful, this is way over the line to me, if she's not hitting on me then i don't know what to call it.

pucciot's picture
Licensee BadgeTraining Badge

This is inappropriate touching from the start.

There are a few things that coudl be happening here :
* She might be making a pass at you.

* She may be starved for affection at home and is trying to feel her needs at work.

* She might be trying to set you up for a fall or somekind of blackmail leverage later.

None of these things is good.

You have got to stop this now - or you might be seen as being complicit later.

Here is what I suggest you try.

1 - Next Time
You must smile and say :
"Boss, I'm sure you are just tying to be friendly,  I'm just not a very touchy feely kind of person."

You might even want to do slight -- shrug / shudder when she touches you again.

Then document and leave a note for yourself when this happened and what you said, and how she responded.

2- The Next Next time
If it happens again -- 
Do the same thing. and Step up your words.

Smile -  
In a smooth calm and assertive voice 
and say
"Boss, I'm sure that you are just trying to be friendly, But  Please do not do that, I'm not a touchy feely kind of person, this makes me uncomfortable."

Then document and leave a note for yourself when this happened and what you said and how she responded.

3 --- The Next Next Next time

If it happens again --

Do & Say the same things as above - again
AND Then Go directly to HR ! 

Report everything - how and when.

She is harasing you ! And a Bad Boss.  

Brush up your resume and start looking for a new boss.  -- It might work out -  OR this might get ugly.

Good Luck. I hope this helps.




chevellecougar's picture

After telling her last week that i felt what she was doing was way out of line, she became angry and told me she was just being friendly and helpful and i was taking things the wrong way but, i also tried explaining to her if i was in her position and started putting my hands on a new female subordinate worker i just met at a new job, i would probably be in serious trouble for my physical actions towards her, well, the next few days she stop talking to me, avoiding me, and not even making eye contact with me.

I worked my last day on Tuesday, I've never had this happen before and I wasn't going to go through the torture of telling H.R., she already had coworkers mocking me for telling her what she was doing was wrong.

ZITTER's picture

This is harassment even if it is a female. Regardless of sex, when touching is inappropriate then it is harassment. And should be dealt accordingly. 

Jollymom's picture

Yes it is harrasment. Even if it is a woman doing such inappropriate touching and the like - that is already a ground for dismissal. Report it to HR and document it properly. And dont let it happen again. Five times is already way way too much. 

vwelch's picture
Licensee BadgeTraining Badge

Go talk to HR and I would lead with the fact you were slapped.

Arbitta's picture

Definitely harassment! You should have reported that immediately. Well I hope you have reported that to your HR. 

Jollymom's picture

Those actions by your female supervisor should be reported and disciplinary actions should be imposed. Check your employee handbook (if any) to validate those violations.