Greetings! This is my first post after bookmark and registered this website. Hope I'm in the right category. Quick intro: I'm age 27, a she-supervisor managing a team of 7 in office. One office lady assistant was transferred to my dept about 2 yrs ago. She always have attitude problem. I've talked to her before and also captured in appraisal sessions. 1 yr later, I noticed minor (slight) improvement so I never gave up on her. However, recently her attitude turns worst towards certain staffs including myself and the GM, after she took a course. She got extraordinary friendly towards the field workers which she used to yell and shout at. But overall, she still yell, shout, banging things / keyboard / phone / doors and bully my other good assistant when we want to make her tasks more transparent (as she never share out the necessary info / knowledge / records / do not want to train other staffs & do not want other staffs to 'touch' her work). I'm also told she "bad-mouth" the company & staffs in Facebook, spreading with naive / immature complaints. In the end, she handed me her resignation and last official day at month end. Due to she's unwilling to handover properly and uncooperatively, causing more trouble and even show her anger when the reliever take on the tasks; management has decided to stop her from coming to office as of now! (even before the last official date). She's gone now for good. She had never reach company's requirement anyway. But why do I still feel uncomfortable n upset when I hear / see she quotes messages in facebook as if she's the good guy and we the worst? And her giving different version of story to other staffs? From management's perspective, how should I handle myself mentally and react when others ask what actually happen? I do not feel right for telling the whole world of all her wrong doings. Or telling ppl not to believe her. [Apology for long story]

TNoxtort's picture

I know it sounds counter intuitive, but the first thing is this is a staffing issue, so as manager, DO NOT TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE ABOUT IT. Except HR and your own management. This is confidential and you could compromise privacy in trying to preserve your reputatation. Privacy is more important.

For more advice, I'll let more seasoned folks here respond to your own staff. But part of being in management is realizing that other people will say things, and you sometimes can't respond. However, in the long term, people who bad mouth their company hurt themselves in the long run.

melissas's picture

Someone correct me if I'm wrong here, but I can't think of a single good reason to read her Facebook posts. Practically speaking, why would you subject yourself to unkind words that you can't (and in most cases shouldn't) do anything about? I can't image that you'd remain social 'friends' after all that. 

But for the sake of argument, if you had other reasons to remain 'friends' - you can block specific people's posts from your Facebook wall. I have a real life friend who posts a lot of hot topics online that I passionately disagree with. But he's a good buddy and I don't wanna fight online. Since I blocked him from my wall's news feed, I don't see his big-mouthed posts and we can still be exchange messages and share discussions on group pages.

Ayashi1828's picture

Hi ARTSMITH. Thanks for your great advise. Guess I'm on the right track and shall continue to be.

Ayashi1828's picture

Hi Melissa. Frankly speaking, I do not have any facebook at the moment. I heard from friends and colleague. I have to say, she got "funny" character. While she herself has issue, she blame the office ppl to be abnormal and herself consider as normal. Ha! Such disappointment.

DHumble's picture

Ok, first you didn't see the facebook posts so don't worry about it, and don't go looking for it.  If people ask you about it, just say something like "Oh, I haven't had time to go look at her facebook page.  I'll do that somethime when I'm less busy."  Of course, as an EFFECTIVE manager, it's not going to be effective to go find bad comments on her faceboook page, so you'll just never get around to it.  If the company decides to do something about it, that's for legal and/or corporate communications (and NO do not go informing them, you have management tasks that are more important to do)  Don't worry about what an employee who you have ENDED a relationship with does.  DO work hard at getting the best replacement possible.  What's in the past is just that, in the past. 

Mark's picture
Admin Role Badge

I'm sorry for the tough situation.

Stay quiet.  When company people ask what happened, tell them, "she was a poor performer and resigned.  We're looking forward to filling her position." 

When they persist, say, "She was a poor performer and resigned.  We're looking forward to filling her position."

There might also be a reason to tell your staff, "leave her facebook page alone unless you're a friend who wants to stay in touch with her - that would be your choice. Otherwise, please don't share what you read - there's nothing we can do about it.  It's her opinion, and she in entitled to it, but talking about it here doesn't help us get our work done."

Stay quiet.  TRUST ME, she will ruin her reputation with others because of her attitude.

Let it go.


PS: A few days after I got fired, I was standing in a long line at a bakery in my little town getting some morning coffee and a pastry.  Two ladies were in front of me talking about... me!  Neither saw me.  One of them had worked with me, and when she had had some family difficulties, I had given her money and she had stayed with friends of mine in town.  The other lady was saying, "hey, don't you work at Brand X?  I heard one of the main people out there got fired."  My former associate said, "yes."  She was clearly uncomfortable...but that's all she said.

Then the other lady probed and said, "Rumors are it was really sudden, so maybe he was stealing, or had an affair with one of the owners, something BAAAAD."  My former associate said, "I don't know anything"...but she didn't bother to stick up for my innocence either.  VERY disappointing to me.  They continued talking, the one suggesting all kinds of things, the other not really denying but not agreeing either.

Finally, I leaned forward, and said, "You're talking about me, and none of it's true."  The former associate finally realized I had been there the whole time, and fled the scene without did the lady who had been accusing me.  They seemed quite embarrassed. 

This meant I got to the front of the line, and the owner, whom I knew, said, "Mark, what did you do??"  I said, "I got fired." :-)

TNoxtort's picture

I heard a similar story as Mark today.

There are websites for pharmaceutical gossip and I was on there (from home) looking for rumors about our company. I found a post about someone who is now working with me who seems really, really, sharp. So I asked her about it today and she laughed. She told me someone had been fired after an 8 month HR ordeal, and named everybody in the department everywhere. She ran into that person a few months later, and she said that person ran away so fast!

Ayashi1828's picture

Hi dHumble. Like your advise very much esp, " an EFFECTIVE manager, it's not going to be effective to go find bad comments on her faceboook page" and "... and NO do not go informing them, you have management tasks that are more important to do".

Very true indeed.

Ayashi1828's picture

Mark, after reading all above feedback, I have totally understand my next / necessary approach with a clear mind now. This seems like a great forum to share difficulties encountered and comments / advices. I'll continue to post messages & read as much posts as possible. Hope to have kind guidance from all. Thanks! ^_^