Do any of you wish you could apply what you have learned about communication, time-management, behaviour, feedback and so on to your family life? Have you had any success with it?

I've been back with my parents since the beginning of August, and am moving on again come the end, and the situation is utterly tonto here. My parents run a b'n'b and have communicative and organisational skills that make Basil and Sybil look like managerial gurus. They are constantly arguing about who should have done what and why this or that hasn't been done and who is going to do this or that and what should be done next... and the arguments are always in the heat of the moment, with no direction, no movement towards peaceful reconciliation and useful output... I'll come home in the evening, listening to a CT or MT podcast, whilst all passive-aggressive hell is breaking out in the other room.

And of course, being the kid here, I'm basically in the position of a direct. Someone told me once that parents rarely learn or take advice from their kids and that's the natural order of things, and so I figure we have a situation here similar to a manager and his directs, in terms of how feedback works. But what am I meant to do then? Just let them suffer on and, whenever I come home for anything more than a day, myself too? 

dbsabzb's picture
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There was a thread on this topic a while back.  I searched but can't seem to find it.

The quick overview is that many people saw value in applying MT concepts to family (especially the feedback model), but Mark was very clear that he draws a VERY distinct line between family and professional relationships.  He said MT is intended for PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS ONLY and would not vouch for its effectiveness in the home.  

Others with better memories may be able to provide more detail.


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altadel's picture
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I've explained the feedback model to my wife, so she knows what I'm talking about when I talk about work. I followed up by saying:

"If I ever start a discussion here at home with 'Can I give you some feedback?', TELL ME NO right away so I don't get myself in big trouble!"


Scott Delinger

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