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I was recently promoted and have rolled out one-on-ones with my new directs (former peers).  We just finished our second week of meetings.  I have not roled out feedback or coaching yet.

We have a tough situation in that we have a cubicle environment and a lack of available conference rooms.

One of my directs has asked that we meet at her cubicle instead of mine.  For practical reasons I think it's a good idea.  Her area of the floor is generally quieter and her cubicle is slightly larger.

However, this direct is not "on board" with me as her manager yet (she's older, more tenured, and in charge of a program that I only have limited exposure to so far).  At least a small part (and I suspect a larger part) of her desire to meet at her cube is so she is not seen in the "guest" chair at my cubicle. 

Any advice?  I'm wondering whether to engage the suspected power dynamic, or whether to just ignore it in the short term unless/until a measurable consequence arises that needs to be addressed explicitly.

ashdenver's picture

 RF,

My first question would be: what's your goal here?  It sounds like you would first like to gain her acceptance / support / recognition of the fact that you are now her manager.  Exerting your role power is one way to go but I don't think that necessarily engenders long-term goodwill from her.  To that end, unless you can come up with a neutral territory for the two of you to meet, I would focus on getting the face-time with her in the O3s (wherever necessary) to build that rapport.  If those barriers can be broken down, I suspect that in a couple of months she won't care who sees her where and accepts that you're a good manager.

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rfinkone's picture

Very helpful - great perspective.  Thank you.

acao162's picture

Consider it this way:  Meeting in your cubical makes her feel like she might be in trouble.  Meeting in hers feels like a professional visit.

What is your goal?

O3s are supposed to be about the direct, not you.

 

Good luck!

VanessaUmali's picture

You said it yourself: "For practical reasons I think it's a good idea. Her area of the floor is generally quieter and her cubicle is slightly larger." I suggest that you yield to her request to show goodwill.

I noticed that you've made two assumptions here: 

  1. She is not "on board" with having you as her manager yet
  2. her desire to meet at her cube is so she is not seen in the "guest" chair at your cubicle

Talk, build relationships, give people time to adjust to the change in your working relationship (from peer to boss); some people take longer than others.  Use your O3s to probe and find out what her concerns are . There may be something more to your perception that she merely doesn't want to be seen as a "guest" in your chair.  

 

I know it's difficult, but we new managers often make the mistake that the resistance we feel is directed at us (as a person) and not to the change (Insecurity?).   She may be a high C/ high S and needs more time to adjust to the change.  Chances are, it's not because she doesn't like you.

I am new to my role as well and I have not fully gained the trust of everybody who now works under me.  It's a slow process, like the shifting of tectonic plates, like Mark often says.

Good luck! 

bflynn's picture

I don't really like the idea of you going to her cube.  It's not a power play thing (or maybe it is), but to me it sets the wrong tone.  You're coming to her, standing by waiting for her to finish her phone conversation, idling your time.  Yes, it's about her, but I think this is a bit far.

She can come to you and if she doesn't like it, she can still come to you.  I wouldn't give on this one.