I have a colleague who has a pattern of behavior that is, from my perspective, neither conducive to good working relationships nor professional and I want to know how to address these behaviors and set proper boundaries.
Example 1: I made a mistake on something. She raised her voice and demanded an answer why. (She is not my boss, so from my perspective, I didn't owe her an answer and it was inappropriate to raise her voice.)
Example 2: On at least 2 occasions, she's snorted at things I've said in meetings.
Example 3: She falsely accused me of talking about her behind her back.
With the exception of number 3, I have not called her out on these behaviors, and these are definitely not the only ones. I would like to use the peer feedback model to point out to her the strains they introduce into our working relationship. But I'm not entirely sure how to describe the effect that they have on our relationship. For instance, would it be within the feedback model to say "When you snort while I'm speaking in a meeting, it is insulting and harms our working relationship"?
Or "When you raise your voice and demand answers you aren't entitled to, I get angry and it harms our working relationship"?
I know one of the focuses in MT is that another person's actions can't determine your emotional reactions. At the same time, it's absurd to think that how someone else treats us doesn't affect our mood and relationships. So I think I'm justifiably frustrated with her behavior and am not sure how to address it...