Submitted by ProcReg on
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I hate to say I was blindsided by the PIP I was put on today, but I've been getting pretty bad, passive aggressive feedback from my manager. She kept telling me I was too hard on myself and "it's ok".
She pointed out that, "You're doing a lot right, but you have to be more independent to continue here".
I'm definitely upset, but I took the PIP and have crafted some action items that i'll show my manager, and am documenting everything I do in relation to the list.
I do know I ask permission WAY too much, like I'm afraid of messing something up, but the fear is much worse than the resulting mistake would be. My (in)security is a definite problem.
It was a very discouraging conversation today. If anyone has suggestions to beat this, please comment!
I have beaten one before; the end story was that the HQ in Philadelphia handed them out like candy, because they were losing the work to my city.
head down
You need to clearly identify the behavoir that is the driving force behind the PIP. This should be detailed extensively in writing with HR. Most PIPs are time limited (30-60 days), you need to understand the timeframe and what was called out as the specific area of performance or behavior that requires improvement.
Once you've identified the behavoir, figure out where you went wrong in the past months and look closely on how you should have handled them differently. Then, as issues arise, make sure you pause, repeat pause, think, and ensure you behave/perform appropriately.
Get your resume updated and start saving if you haven't already. Sorry to be pessimistic but once your on a PIP, odds are 50/50 that you won't make it. Either due to the PIP or should there be a layoff in the next year, you will be top of the list most likely.
When the PIP comes off, if it does, remember you're not out of the woods. In all honesty, it will be a virtual sword of Damacles for at least a year should you backslide into your old behavoir.
Good luck!
I used to ask permission all the time too
The root cause for me, like you, was fear. I was so afraid of messing up. Here's some of the things I did to conquor this.
1) I started keeping an inventory of the times I asked for permission and it had been granted vs not and then some details about it. After a while it was pretty clear that most of the time I was right.
2) I started using that fear as a compass to where I needed to move forward. Fear withers in the face of knowledge and understanding. So when you're afraid, learn more about the thing that you fear. It's hard. Very hard. It might be hard to even research the thing you're afraid of the fear is so strong. Set some goal of x amount of research per day. Whatever you can do to motivate yourself to learn more.
3) I got some people who would support me through the fear. I had different kinds of people - some were understanding and compassionate, some were more of the kick you in the backside sort of people. It takes all kinds. :)
4) When I wanted to ask for permission I transitioned through informing. This satisfied my CYA need but was seen as more assertive. If I told them first that gave them the opportunity to say no but it wasn't asking for permission.
5) I started not saying anything at all before hand with things that seemed really safe. I would inform afterwards. This gave me confidence that it was ok.
Eventually you will have to let yourself fail. However, hopefully your manager will see that as a positive that you're learning to take risks and not ask for permission. If you're not making mistakes, you're not taking risks and you don't have the opportunity to learn.
This can work! I'm acutally quite a big risk taker now because I still do #2. When I feel fear I move towards it. It's served me very well. Since I've done that my career has moved forward very quickly.
Long after that I have started working with a professional coach. It's been great for me to have someone outside of my work and home to ask questions.
Good luck! You can be strong!
When in doubt take action, report as normal.
ProcReg, I understand where you are coming from. I am a high S. For me, my tendency is to ask questions/permission etc. I have found that I need to clamp that instinct down and just do what I think is best. If I am making decisions and taking actions that I think are best, there is almost no downside. My job is to do the best I can with what I know. It is my boss's job to help me make the course correction. A boss would almost always rather have someone take an action, even if it is not perfect, that ask for permission or worse take no action. Doing something that is suboptimal is not a problem. Not doing anything is a problem. Once you have taken the action, just report it as normal.
THANKS!
As a follow up, they let me go about three hours ago. I knew that, once on the PIP, it was over. I took careful notes of the things I did right, but it wouldn't have made a difference.
But it made me aware of some things to reflect on. I have two interviews scheduled (already) and am trying to answer the question, "Why did you leave?" in my head, without saying I didn't have the 10 years experience they needed. Or maybe that's exactly the answer I need to give.
Sorry to hear you were let go
Sorry to hear you were let go. Good job getting back out there to keep things moving with employment.
I'm going to be really straight with you, since I don't think sympathy is going to do you any good. The tone with your original post and the follow up is that you're battling bad people and the most serious problems are with everyone else. You talked about getting "bad, passive aggressive feedback" from your manager. You mentioned you had "beaten" a PIP before with the excuse that HQ "handed them out like candy because they were losing work to my city."
You've allowed yourself to devolve into a victimhood mentality. Bad people with unreasonable expectations are persecuting you, and there's no hope in trying to change, with the defeatist "once on the PIP, it was over".
From an outsider's perspective (no dogs in this fight) it seems pretty clear you're not doing what your employers want you to do in the manner in which they want you to do it. I think you'd be much better off looking inward and trying to figure out how to change to give your employers what they want instead of looking at negative feedback as a battle that must be won. Even the heading of "THANKS!" smacks of sarcasm toward people who are trying to help you considering the content of the post. I'll take a wild guess that in addition to perhaps asking for permission too often, you're coming across as oppositional.
Is the lack of 10 years experience a real issue? Don't make something up. I think the world would be a better place if people spent as much time figuring out how to tell the truth than they do making things up to cover their tracks. There are many ways to tell the truth. There's nothing wrong with wrapping it up in a nice package and tying it up with a pretty bow, as long as you don't misrepresent what's inside. That's just a matter of putting your best foot forward. What you actually tell them depends on what kind of position you're looking for.
Rule number one, don't badmouth your previous employer in any way. Go in with an honest attitude that you'll spend your energy trying to figure out what your employer wants, and turn all your efforts toward giving it to them. You can take control. Don't be a victim, and that doesn't mean looking at everyone as a fight that needs to be won. Brush away the past, and look at potential employers as good people who could benefit from what you can provide.
I know it's not easy. I've been there. The best of luck to you.