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Hey folks

One of my directs has a bit of a habit of sms messaging me to let me know he'll be late to work. Mainly this is for social reasons rather than family.

Do I give feedback? I feel slightly self-conscious as I am sometimes late at short notice for family/childcare reasons.

The direct is a good performer if that influences any opinion. I would potentially say they may be getting complacent however.

Feedback generally results in pushback.

tlhausmann's picture
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"Social reasons?"--are you suggesting this person is out partying until the wee hours and *then* comes to work late in the morning?

Feedback seems appropriate here--if the behavior persists then step it up to systemic feedback.  (In other words, start citing professionalism, commitment, and consequences.)

http://www.manager-tools.com/2009/04/systemic-feedback

stephenbooth_uk's picture

 Maybe I'm taking a broader view.

If the 'Social Reasons' are staying out late then 100% what TLHAUSMANN said.

If 'the Social Reasons' are checking on an elderly neighbour then I'd suggest treat as if it were a family reason.  Some neighbours are as close a family (maybe closer, thinking about some families).  That doesn't mean a free ride but would change the tone of the feedback.

 If the 'Social Reasons' are a chatty, unemployed/retired, neighbour who ambushes them as they leave the house and keeps them chatting and acts really offended if they try to leave saying they're sorry but have to get to work then makes spurious 'noisy neighbour' complaints to the local council, some mild feedback and guidance on how to disengage politely may be in order.  I know from experience that this can be a very tricky situation to deal with.

Stephen

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Skype: stephenbooth_uk  | DiSC: 6137

"Start with the customer and work backwards, not with the tools and work forwards" - James Womack

 

Mark's picture
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FIRST: The why of the behavior we're going to give feedback about really isn't all that important.  That's part of the beauty of feedback - not every exchange is a discussion/rationale session.

Just to say it differently: I generally don't care why someone has done something well or poorly when I'm giving them feedback.  I'm not an insensitive person - ask Wendii.  But too many of us managers start thinking about why someone might have done something )focusing on the negative here) and either (a) don't then give feedback because they can think of a good reason why someone made a mistake,and so want to give them a pass or (b) don't give feedback because they are worried the direct is going to push back, and so don't want to argue.

But do we want to incent ineffective behavior as long as there were good intentions?  Lots of CEOs get fired for that, by the way.  Everyone wants to be judged by their intentions, while the market doesn't care.  The calculus doesn't work.

In this case, I don't care why he's late.  I would bet that others deal with the same stuff he does, and they get in on time.  All things being equal (and of course they're not) I want them and not him on my team.  (By the way, I'm not a terrible stickler personally for someone being a bit late in the morning, if they kick butt the rest of the day.)

SO: I'd give feedback both on the texting, AND on the being late. (surprised?)  I'd START with the positive: thanks for texting me when you're going to be late.  it's courteous, and I really appreciate it.

After a couple of positives for texting, I'd give negative feedback for being late.  This is probably where you suggest the shot across the bow, and generally yes I agree.  Just remember that SATB is only necessary if the direct pushes back.  It's not SATB to just negative feedback.

And, the positive feedback first will lessen the chance of pushback.

I know, I know...what do you say when he seems surprised that you thanked him for the texts, and now are "punishing" him for being late.  First, let's be clear that the two things are totally different behaviors.  It is TOTALLY possible to be both thankful for one and disappointed in the other.  How do I know that?  I'm doing it right now!  His ASSUMPTION that the texting forgives the other is wrong and false.

Here's what I would say: oh, sorry that wasn't clear.  I do like it when you text when you're going to be late - that's a good thing, like I said.  And, being late isn't effective.  The one courtesy doesn't eliminate the other failure to be on time.  The goal would be no or a lot less lateness, and texting every time, as a courtesy. 

Mark