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Submitted by rodneyrbts on
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What are your thoughts about this article over at HBR on Managers Fostering Friendships at Work  ?

mattpalmer's picture

If you're asking "should managers be friends with their directs?" the answer is "Dear ghods no, never".  You'll either end up skewing your judgment in favour (or even against) your friend, or be perceived as doing so, or you won't and you'll destroy the friendship (which is far, far worse than never having had it in the first place).

On the other hand, if you're asking, "should managers encourage friendships between their directs" the answer is, "sure, in theory, but how would you *do* that?".  Pair people off at little lunch?  We're adults, we can make our own friends, thank you very much.

As far as my opinion on the article, it's about par for HBR's people management advice -- which is to say, it's pretty weak.  It may well be a case of a desperate sub-editor putting a dodgy spin on a story.  It is conflating "friendship" with "camaraderie", for a start, and doesn't really describe many behaviours I'd class as "friendship" throughout the article.  For example, it talks about "spending time with employees, treating people with respect, having fun, being there for them personally and professionally, and putting people first — with empathy, kindness and compassion.".  That's not friendship, that's simply human decency.