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Submitted by TomW on


After listening to the latest podcast, if you have concerns about something in your position, is there anyone you should tell?

The situation I'm referring to is something fixable. You see a department that is in serious trouble because of its manager, you get passed over for promotion and see a different opportunity in the company you might like equally, etc.

I can't believe that the message of the cast is that, unless it's illegal, just sit there and take it.

svgates's picture

That's not the take away I got at all. In the segment where they discussed "Don't disengage", they enumerated tons of stuff that you [i]should[/i] do instead of disengaging - including Mike's favorite, "Bloom where you are". :)


TomW's picture
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I'm not suggesting disengaging. I'm wondering if there is a time to actually discuss these issues with someone. The cast rules out almost everyone you could possibly discuss the issues with except, maybe, your spouse.

lazerus's picture

This cast was really interesting. Somewhat inscrutable, it gives you a lot to think about (not that other casts don't give you something to think about). I got that it is about continuing to benefit your employer and yourself with self awareness, and the actionable steps to salvage your career if you find yourself in a place that is "not a good fit".

But, what do I know :?:

MsSunshine's picture

Bottom-line: Get a professional coach if you can.

I didn't have exactly this case but I found myself in a job that didn't match my talents due to a re-organization/merger. I am a person who finds having a professional to talk things out with who has great insights and experience important to me to work things out for myself. Having to talk about what I was doing with someone who wouldn't give me any slack/sympathy! Note that this definitely would not be peers or friends. All they do is lend a sympathetic ear and go on with their jobs!

This was a professional coaching engagement and the contract stated explicitly that she would not talk about what we discussed whether I wanted her to or the company asked her anything. I had ultimate confidence in her word. The company paid for this but it would have been worth the money to me. I was reading books, participating in forums, etc. and working through it myself. But the coach was a tremendous boost. I'm not sure she said anything I couldn't have read. BUT it was focused specifically on my issues and easier to hold myself accountable to doing what I needed to do when I knew I'd have that meeting every two weeks.

(Two months later, still in the same job, I had people I didn't see much stop me in the hall and ask if I had gotten a new job because I just looked great.)

sklosky's picture


To me, the situation is like letting someone else drive. Giving them advice on driving isn't always the most effective course of action. when the driver is your manager, they have the finger on the button for your ejection seat.

What do you do when someone else is driving?


TomW's picture
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If someone else is driving like an idiot, I tell them. Or I pull a Bruce Willis and push them out the door and take the wheel.

terrih's picture

I don't think M&M were saying don't make constructive suggestions. I think what this cast is saying to shut up about is sentiments that smack of "I hate this job, I gotta get out of here." That's all.

AManagerTool's picture

[quote]If someone else is driving like an idiot, I tell them. Or I pull a Bruce Willis and push them out the door and take the wheel.[/quote]


What if you keep finding idiots?

TomW's picture
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[quote="AManagerTool"][quote]If someone else is driving like an idiot, I tell them. Or I pull a Bruce Willis and push them out the door and take the wheel.[/quote]

What if you keep finding idiots?[/quote]

Then there will be a lot of debris on the road....

AManagerTool's picture

I think that Mark's point is maybe you should find another car...or take the bus or something else...LOL....debris on the road...LOL

What if you are not Bruce Willis but you are really Pee Wee Herman and only think you are Bruce Willis and the driver is actually Terry Tate Office Linebacker!

Bitching and moaning even in a constructive manner is counterproductive. It doesn't work. You are far more likely to end up as road debris than the driver of that car.

OMG....I'm in analogy hell!

TomW's picture
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I can't believe that the only choices are to suffer in silence or leave. It just seems to go against the whole MT concept to not even try to fix a problem in your company.

MsSunshine's picture

I think the confusion here is that the podcast was about a different thing. It was more about when you've made a choice that turns out to be wrong or for some other reason you're in job you don't like.

If something is wrong, I'd focus on what I can do about it not who I want to talk to about it. I can change things by changing what I do, how I respond, etc. Just complaining never works.

US41's picture

My takeaway from the cast was very different. What I heard our hosts say was "Don't tell anyone you hate your job." Standing in smoking areas, at the water cooler, in the break room, etc. rolling your eyes when asked "How are you doing?" and then going on a diatribe about how all hope is lost and you have lost all faith in the company plus your job sucks is a recipe for career self-destruction.

I didn't hear them tell me not to bring concerns to my boss's attention. I regularly bring both departmental, inter-departmental, and company issues to my boss's attention. I have rendered scathing criticisms of some practices - but I try to make them less scathing the closer they are to emanating from our department. I still point them out.

I have to agree with them that you don't tell people you have come to hate your job, that you are looking to leave, or that you have had it and you are fed up. Expressing that has no constructive component. If you really think your job blows and it is time to leave - tell no one. If you are passionate about your job and love it, but you think the company is doing something foolish like using 360 reviews to determine individual performance, then certainly in your next O3 or chat with your boss say, "Can we discuss the use of 360 reviews? I'm concerned that those are mostly hocus pocus and will not provide the benefit we are looking for. I think we should drive individual manager performance and use regular feedback and communication to determine ability rather than politically charged tools with questionable results that dig for animosity."

Your boss can say, "Aw, it's already paid for and we're going ahead. Get over it, and I expect your full support, Tom!" You can stop ranting about the 360's at that time. You have been heard, and the decision is final. No one ever changed their boss by continually arguing a decision every day over and over again.

But if these sorts of things pile up and you begin to think your company is full of morons, your boss is a hopeless idiot, and your own job has become a pointless exercise in pencil pushing, DON'T TELL ANYONE.

asteriskrntt1's picture


Did you get any satisfactory perspective here or are you still struggling with the podcast?


TomW's picture
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I think my take on the cast was a little wrong.

It was not that if you have a problem, don't talk to someone about fixing it. I think the cast message was "If you hate your job, keep it quiet" not "If you see a problem that you think you can fix, keep it quiet".

I also think there's a difference between complaining and vetting out possible solutions to a problem.