My team lead holds O3's with team members and I don't think he's listened to podcast. At one of our O3's he suddenly unloads on me - tells me how the working relationship isn't working, how he doesn't have the power to change it, says he can't trust me, lists out a bunch of things I've done wrong over the past four months, etc. I was totally blown away. We had just come off a very successful deployment and I have a very good working relationship with my team. Most of the issues weren't mine or were things that had been dealt with.
Clearly this is a good example of why daily feedback works best when the smaller issues could have been dealt with. What a mess - I left the meeting very angry and any kind of trust I had in the lead was gone. Things haven't gotten any better.
So I have two questions, first, is there a case for declining a O3 with a manager or team lead? In this situation, I have very little interest in meeting with the lead in an unstructured O3 - meetings around project schedule, tasks, objectives, etc are okay since the discussion is focused on the success of the project, not each other.
Second, is there a way to recover from a O3 mess?