I am in an unique situation and I thought I should seek everyone's guidance. Please note that I am not a manager but aspiring to be one.

My manager is very strong D where as I am very strong I. We were peer before he became the manager (the post was created for him only and I do not have any hard feeling for him). Since I joined the organization he has suspicion about my ability and always tries to undermine my achievement. Once he became the manager, he started to highlight the achievements of others while neglecting me. Slowly he started to give work directly to the juniors of my team without discussing or letting me know. Recently he hired a consultant to work on project similar to which I am already working on.

I wanted to get out of the organization but since this is a very small town I have to move to other big cities to have better job opportunity. Given the economy I am kind of stuck at this place due to money losing house.

For quite sometime I have been thinking about disclosing my feeling to him but most of our O3s are either canceled or skipped due to some thing or other. Whenever we do meet it is always about project status or business related. He does not discuss anything personal with me.

I do not want to confront with my manager but this is too unbearable and for the organization it is just wastage of money. I am thinking of talking with my skip manager (his manager) but I do not know how to approach him. Also, both of them are very close.

Please advice on how to handle the situation. I am kind of a fighter as I have been dealing with this situation for past couple of years by keeping my mouth shut, control my emotion and trying to be with him whenever he needs me so that he can have confidence in me that I am working for him, for his goal and I do not have any of my own agenda.



jhack's picture

Sometimes, you can't win the fight.  This may be one of those situations.  

But first, is he right?  Are you not performing at the level you should be?  (see the podcast, High I Manager Downfall). 

Most likely, you are performing well enough.  He and his boss are squeezing you.  Your career there is limited. Your job is at risk.

Confronting your manager is probably not a good idea.  Instead, when you get the one on one, ask about performance objectives and what you need to do to be a top performer.  Make the conversation about what you need to do in the future, not about his past behavior. 

So you need to be ready to change jobs.  Sorry.  Small town, house underwater, this is a tough situation.  You should still update your resume, focus on doing your very best at work, speak ill of no one, and ramp up your network.  These are good things regardless.  Start researching firms that might be interested in hiring you.

You might find that an offer in a new city would make it possible to manage your personal finances (even if you don't eat out much for a while). 

John Hack