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Submitted by FizzSagan on


 I have accepted a position with a new company, and will be moving to a new country (15 hour flight!) for this position.  However, today my existing employer told me that they would be willing to counter by moving me to the same country and city.  

Is this something I should consider?  

I feel it would not be ethical to go back on my word to the new company when I've already accepted an offer.  However, this big a move is very stressful, and moving with my existing company would make things much easier.  I also view this move as temporary, and if I stayed with my existing company it would make coming back home in 2-4 years much easier.  

I like my existing job, I have a strong internal network, and I am sad to leave this company, but my wife and I made the decision because we wanted to move.  I was CONVINCED my existing employer would not counter-offer with a move, especially because it has been discussed in the past and never went anywhere.

As of two weeks ago we have a new President  with expansion goals.  I believe this is why my current employer is willing to consider a counter.  I am not sure how to proceed.



xcelerator's picture
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Hi FizzSagan,

Congrats on pursuing an expat assignment! You'll grow no matter which choice you follow.

Regarding the ethical concern, if you searched for, interviewed, and accepted an offer from a company for the express purpose of forcing your current employer to make a counter offer ... you have an ethics problem. It doesn't sound like that. You found another opportunity when you perceived there was none at your current employer. If you turn down the offer from the new company and stay with your existing company, you are reneging on your word but that doesn't imply an ethical imbalance. I've been in your shoes so I understand. There may be hiring managers in your future who wouldn't see it that way ... but I wouldn't sweat it.

Now, full disclosure: You've broken the trust of your current employer. You've stated that you're willing to leave the company for a better opportunity. Regardless of how great your performance in the past has been, if you accept the counter offer you also have to accept that everything may change in how you're treated, how much your boss trusts you, etc. Bottom line, it's a risk. But you accepted that risk before you went into your bosses office to resign, right?

My advice ... take the new offer. You don't know if your current employer can follow through. It took you resigning for them to bring it up. If you play all the remaining cards right and keep your bridges intact, you may have an opportunity when you return. I can think of many of my former / previous colleagues who left and their previous employers were beating down the door to get them back in the future when a critical need arose. 

I'm thinking that you'll never look back though. Best of luck, go with your gut.

- D

(fyi, I presume you already listened to the podcast on how to resign?)

TNoxtort's picture

I think go for the new offer, not the counter offer.

People, and organizations, can change in first order ways, or second order ways. Second order is because they really want to, to grow and such. First order is due to fear, and is not usually permanent. Your company's reaction appears to be first order.

I am getting tired of the environment at my job, and have been looking around. However, I really wish things would get better at my place. I wonder if I were to find something I liked, and resign, would they make me a counter offer? But by the time I get to that point, like you, I'll be set (I have gotten offers and turned them down because I didn't like the job, without discussing anything with my employer).

FizzSagan's picture
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The above posts helped remind me of something...

A day before resigning, my manager told me there might be a 4-month opportunity for me in the new city (where I will be moving).  However,  he wasn't going to give me the opportunity because I was too valuable in my current position!

I now feel that the 'counter' to move me would never have come without the fear of losing me.  A first order reaction, if you will.  I've thanked my current employer for their willingness to counter and that I was flattered, but am committed to the new opportunity.

What I learned out of this is that I could have been more vocal with my desire to move, regardless of other offers.  

xcelerator's picture
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 Wish you the best in your new endeavor! Where are you headed by the way? Sounds like the Middle East based on the plane ride.

FizzSagan's picture
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I'm heading from Vancouver to Brisbane!   There's no skiing so I will just have to make due with surfing opportunities.

fchalif's picture
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I recommend you take the new assignment. You have spent a good amount of time researching and interviewing for it. If you resign professionnaly, meet and exceed expectations as you leave the current company, you may find that you have opportunities there in 2 years or so, if you wish to return there.

there is good guidance in the casts below:


tparkinson's picture


It's a difficult one, but as Frankie says it may be better to move on for the time being, making sure to leave on an amicable basis. This article presents some of the reasons why it's better not to accept a counteroffer - - though whether all of these points apply in this instance only you will know!