Dealing with ineffective peer and her direct

Hi,

I would focus on the superstar, giving positive feedback etc. I believe there is not much you can do about a peer's direct than what you have done.

Options: 

a) what you have done: talk to peer => could be repeated with the perspective of performance of your team.

b) talk to common boss => do not recommend it at this stage, might be seen as throwing someone under the bus.

c) talk to direct of peer directly => might be ok to give feedback that directly influences the performance of your team.

I hear a sense of frustration in your email about the fact that your peer does not want ot listen to manager-tools.com. I have had the same issue, but in my opinion, there is not much you can do. One thing I tried is to use concrete situations [e.g. facilitation of groundrules] to inform about the podcast, but only if the other person asks me for advice!

Jochen

It's possible you were a little too forceful in your exhortations for your peer to pick up her act and improve her managerial game.  Trying to see this from your peer's PoV, I might feel hurt and threatened about the insinuation that I wasn't doing my job and managing my people, and "shut down" to avoid hearing any more negative opinions of my work.

Of course, anything that is impacting on your ability to do your job needs to be addressed, and so it's not a matter of letting your peer go on her merry way.  I would continue to try and get the problems addressed by continuing to raise issues with your peer, but make sure you do so by focusing on the negative behaviours and how they impact others, in the same way as you would try to do with feedback.  When the problem direct causes you a problem, mention it to your peer: "hey Sally, I needed some numbers from Rhonda yesterday to get this report I'm working on finished, and I couldn't find her.  Could I get an idea from you about when Rhonda would be available to help me out?"

The key points I'd try to focus on are: keep it about behaviours, and how they're affecting your work, and to keep it constructive.  If you can keep the frustration you're feeling out of your voice (hard, I know -- I have an *incredibly* hard time keeping negative emotions out of my tone of voice), that'll make your peer feel less like you're just complaining, which will engender all sorts of negative emotions.

Also, consider your existing relationship with your peer -- is it in the sort of state where discussions about the performance of her team will be received in a positive, constructive way, or do you have to perhaps work on the relationship before you can start giving her this information about her team's performance?  Ask yourself a couple of questions about her and her team, like: "What is the biggest problem that she has to deal with on a regular basis?" and "What is the single biggest thing that impacts on her ability to do her job?".  If you don't know the answers to those questions, perhaps you might want to start with some peer O3s (there's a podcast for that!), to try and build a relationship *before* you try to adjust her team's behaviour.

Unfortunately, I can't think of many other options for dealing with the problem in a more head-on way.  Going to a common boss is just going to be throwing your colleague under the bus, as Jochen said, which *will* destroy any hope you have of peaceful cooperation in the future.  I suspect you're just going to have to stick with it for the long haul, and work to produce gradual change in your peer and her team (on the up-side, gradual change is the kind most likely to stick).

A sidenote on introducing others to M-T: I tried, early on in my managerial trek, to "force" M-T down people's throats, in the manner of any recent convert ("it's great, it'll change your life!  Do it now or you're damned for all eternity!").  Pretty quickly I saw the glazed look in the eye and a complete lack of take-up, and decided it wasn't the right strategy.  Instead, I just got on with doing my job, applying the advice I got from the podcasts in the least-worst way I could.  As it turns out, that was the best thing I could have done -- while I'm not particularly good at this "management" stuff yet, there has been a noticeable improvement (by my boss and peers) in the effectiveness of my team, and that is a far better advertisement for M-T than I ever could have consciously produced myself.  Now I'm starting to be asked for advice from a peer manager, so I'll slip in a particular podcast if it's appropriate.

As always, Gandhi said it best: "Be the change you wish to see in the world".  Show, don't tell, people about the effectiveness of manager tools, and I think sooner or later people will realise the benefit in your methods, and ask you to teach them how, too.

I always try to work from the assumption that everyone wants to do a "good job" (it's not easy, I'm naturally a cynical and negative person, so I see this as being a "personal growth" task I have to work on).  On that basis, I'd be asking myself, "Why does my peer accept this poor behaviour from her direct?".  The immediate answer that comes to mind, based on the premise that "she wants to do a good job", is "because she doesn't see it as poor behaviour".

This is why I recommended sticking to pointing out the poor behaviours, and (to keep it out of the "complaining" bucket) pointing out how the poor behaviours impact your ability to get your job done.  I find this hard to do, myself, as I'm always thinking, "isn't it obvious?" or "I shouldn't have to explain this, it's so simple!".  But I just keep telling myself that my perspective is not shared by everyone else, and make sure I point out the practical implications so that the other person understands *wny* it's a problem, and can understand the intent behind my remarks and get closer to fixing the root cause (in the same way as "Commander's intent" helps directs better execute your plans).