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Submitted by StevenLJackson1 on


[I saw the related topic,, but I think this one deserves its own topic.]


I have a direct report whose wiife recently passed away after a battle with cancer.  Understandably I have been going very easy on him, cutting him as much slack as I can.

He has missed a couple of our O3s due to oversleeping (he says he has been having trouble sleeping at night, so this is understandable).  I have rescheduled them, telling him not to worry about it.

I know he is seeing a grief counsellor, which is good.  They had no kids, and he has no family nearby, which is probably a bad thing.  He and another one of my directs are pretty good friends, and I know that my other direct has made sure to visit after work hours from time to time.

My question to the group: have you been in this situation before, and if so, how long before I should start asking more of him again?  I'm genuinely curious--I'm not a High D, so it's not like I think everyone should just pick up where they left off as if nothing happened (to the High Ds our there--no offence!).  I realize that everyone is different and everyone has their own needs in order to grieve and move on.

Thank you,


pwalker73's picture

I'm so sorry for your team member's loss. I have experienced this and I just wanted to comment that you answered your own question with your closing sentence. I do not feel qualified to advise but, in my experience, all you can do is be there for your colleague and let him know that performance comes second right now.  This may take a lot of time but it will be worth it. As an aside, such 'second hand' grief can affect you to, make sure you have support. Best wishes.

StevenLJackson1's picture
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Thank you!  Yes, I probably did answer my own question.

Take care,