Hi all, there is a discussion string on a similiar train going on but it seems to have become a bit de-railed, so I thought I'd start another.
I have the situation where I have received 3 unsolicitated remarks regarding one of my directs from some of my other directs. In a staff meeting that I was unable to attend, the target DR got into a debate with the QUALITY manager on a QUALITY issue and overpowered and openly challenged the competence of my Quality Manager in front of the entire staff. The target DR is a high performer and very motivated, he has a tremendous work ethic but sometimes does get a bit 'above his station' especially when I am out of the office. The reports about his behaviour are completely believable. I know this because the same story was corrborated 3 times.
Anyway...I used the feedback model to the target DR, but the conversation went completely downhill when I wasn't truly prepared to answer/debate the question he raised: 'Yes, but who said that'?
Me: It doesn't really matter...
Him: Yes, it does, because I need to know to properly address this accusation..I think I know...was it so and so?
Me: Its not an accusation, just an observation of your behavior...
Him: I can't believe anyone would say that, was it just one person?
Me: It doesn't matter, but the behavior was noted from others in the meeting as well..
Me: Oh? Well who were the others, I bet I can guess...
You get the idea.
The feedback session fell flat I feel because I wasn't prepared on how to address the 'yeah, but' scenario...any clever words to diffuse such a scenario out there?